Chief of Staff

Surprise Ending!

2008-07-03T23:25:00.002-04:00

I think M. Night Shyamalan directed this...

Integrity Issues

2008-03-17T21:54:00.007-04:00

Watching the news from Albany this morning, I couldn't help but note that in the past four years the three Governors of Connecticut, New Jersey, and New York have resigned in disgrace. Is there something in the water in the tri-state area, something that encourages its Governors to tragically succumb to their baser instincts?

All three were promising rising stars of their parties, all with national potential and thrilling political careers ahead of them. Young, wealthy, and popular, they had merely to master their own sloppy impulse control to make a tremendous impact and do wondrous good for their constituents, and yet all three revealed a hammartia particularly unsuitable for high public office: corrupt John Rowland from Connecticut felt he was entitled to free home improvements in exchange for state contracts, cronyism laid Jim McGreevey low when he hired his boyfriend as the State’s Security Advisor, and libidinous Eliot Spitzer was unable to restrain himself from indulging with prostitutes.

There are many arguments being made in the media regarding whether prostitution should in fact be against the law, and at several thousand dollars an hour, you'd be hard-pressed to convince me that Kristen was being exploited. Simultaneously, the Mann Act is a relic of a bygone era, inherently misogynistic and patronizing, and by its very existence implying a feminine helplessness and inequality to men. In fact, I've broken that law myself several times as has any man who's taken his girlfriend on vacation out of state. Yet however insulting and archaic,violating the Mann Act remains against the law, as does soliciting a prostitute, and those are laws that Spitzer swore to uphold.

Integrity is simple: you do what you say you’re going to do, by when you say you’re going to do it. You do what you know you should do, even if no one’s watching, even if no one’s told you to do it. So don’t run for Governor if you’re unwilling to keep your oath of office.

My favorite politician Thomas Brackett Reade once said “I do not expect, by acting thus, to escape criticism; merely not to deserve it.” Integrity is the suit of armor you wear against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, it provides you with a simple template for life – not for ensuring that things never go wrong, but for ensuring that you can remain inherently authentic, genuine, and committed in the face of things that will absolutely go wrong. Face into the wind, integrity is the sure place on which to stand when the world rages around you.

Our society is based on a reasonable expectation of each other’s behaviors. We rely on each other being reliable. More importantly, we make decisions based on one another’s integrity every day. When we’re let down so dramatically, when we encounter such stunning hypocrisy, it’s a devastating blow to the very underpinnings of our co-existence. Hypocrisy isn’t the most deadly, impactful, or immediate danger in our world, but it is the most insidious. It’s the rot from within that weakens our faith in one another and the institutions that we rely on. And it’s cumulative; there’s no such thing as an insignificant disappointment.

You get to choose integrity, everyday. It’s voluntary. Not because you have to, but because it’s good for you, and because it’s good for all of us.

None of this may be true, but it makes sense nevertheless.

Catch Up Part 2...

2008-03-15T22:28:00.004-04:00

Longtime readers may remember my Austrian ladyfriend from just about this time last year. Well, this past February she returned to visit America with her choral group, and then stayed to visit with me for a week in NYC. It was an active week, with me doing my best to play host. I fear I’m not nearly the New York City host I once was, not only have I lost the enthusiasm for "exciting" New York, I was also constrained by the work I needed to do to prep for that HR conference.

Daniella and I had a nice week, visiting Princeton, NJ and checking out the campus and surrounding area (more on that later...). We went salsa dancing again with some of our B'nai B'rith group, and we went to see a new Broadway show, and of course we went to dinner quite a bit. The sudden and constant company after months of being single was a bit of a shock, and it was a challenge to maintain the schedule while also managing the need for high output at work that week. But we had fun, and it was great to see her again.

The show we saw, In the Heights, was also great. It was in previews then though it’s now officially opened, and it’s a fun, lively musical full of Latino flavored singing and dancing. Though it has a thin and wholly predictable storyline, it's thoroughly entertaining. I suspect it’ll be a medium to large size hit, primarily because it has the potential to tap into a large market of current and potential Latino theatergoers.

One thing I did like about it was that it didn't attempt to pander to non-Spanish speakers. It's a show about Spanish speakers, in a Spanish neighborhood, and if some of the lines and jokes are over your head, so be it. The lead guy started writing the show many years ago in college and his friends and family put up the initial cash for the first few iterations in workshop downtown, and now he's opening on Broadway and it's the best kind of success story. With so many revivals and movie-to-theater adaptations cluttering Broadway for so many seasons now, an actual original musical was exciting in and of itself. And the lead guy will be a big deal shortly. No surprise to see him get his own sitcom or something... he'll be the flavor of the month before too long, and perhaps a keeper.

Other recent activities: my new best friend in NY is a lapsed Mormon / current lesbian who loves hockey, and though my opinion of hockey resides somewhere between indifference and mild disdain, when terrific tickets to a Ranger game fell into my lap I knew Amber was the perfect non-date date. I still think hockey’s closer to stupid than not, but going to the game was fun – the Garden, the fans and everything. We had a great time, much better than the Rangers who totally lost.

Amber and I enjoy a number of things in common, not the least of which is our attraction to women. We never run out of things to talk about...

Following a difficult breakup last fall, I stayed intentionally single through the holidays, and then extended my moratorium through Valentine’s Day. Since then however, I’ve begun socializing once again, though I remain true to my recently instituted offline-only rule. A good friend wants to set me up with someone who has a blog wherein I could learn all about her, and I was adamant that all I want is a phone number. I have no intention of conducting any part of the relationship via electronic proxy, even email is to be kept to an absolute minimum at the outset. 2008 is the year of doing it the way our grandparents did it (though not great-grandparents, because that gets into the arranged marriage era, and I'm not entirely ready for that just yet...).

Another friend of mine, someone whom I briefly dated last summer, introduced me to one of her friends and the friend and I had our first date just last night. My sister will be pleased because Karen is a lawyer - and my sister has assured me that I need to date a professional woman who's busier than I am. Karen and I had a nice time, though no instant fireworks. I'm interested in seeing her again though, and giving it another chance to develop, though not yet sure if she is.

Karen is a foodie, and knows a great deal about cocktails. I'm a fan of food and drink, but never delved into the cocktails world, and was very impressed with the subtle distinctions and whole underground of what to drink, where, and how. Learning that I liked gin, she ordered me two drinks - a Gin-Gin Mule, and a Ramos Gin Fizz. Apparently the Ramos Gin Fizz is a very fancy drink because it must be shaken vigorously for at least five minutes. It's made with vanilla syrup and gin and lime, which are three of my favorite tastes, and it has egg whites in it - which initially freaked me out, but I was bold. The shaking aerates the egg whites giving it a fluffy, meringue taste and consistency. It was delicious, though I felt bad for Artemio our bartender, and I tipped him very generously.

Shaking a drink for five minutes is no joke; he offered to make one of these for me, I would never have asked for it. Apparently, it's bad form to ask unless the bar is practically empty, due to the time and effort this one takes to prepare.

Like I said, a whole cocktail subculture going on...

I make a pretty good spagetti sauce....

2008-03-15T21:40:00.000-04:00

My buddy Goorasta turned me on to this...

(language nsfw)

Future Blog Reader

2008-03-15T21:35:00.000-04:00

Broadway to Boston has had her little girl, after something like 480 hours of labor (I may have misheard that). Congrats to the whole family!

And for those of you keeping track, yes, it means that of our college group of friends, the only two yet to reproduce are me and the gay one…

OMG, Brilliant...

2008-03-15T21:26:00.007-04:00

I am excited/ashamed to note that several of my favorites are on this list...
__________________________

The Top 10 Rap Songs White People Love

by brian

And I mean fucking LOVE. When these songs come on, White People look at each other and say "Awwww yeah" or "Hell yeah" and are compelled to sing along. Sometimes there’s also a corresponding stupid dance move.

Having studied White People for 27 years, my authority on the topic is absolute; this list is damn near bullet proof.
read more...

Airline Rant Part 2

2008-03-15T21:03:00.007-04:00

I arrived last Sunday from San Fran landing at JFK at 9:35pm. I arrived home at 11:45pm. The cab ride was 20 minutes. The other hour and fifty minutes was spent doing this:

That's a picture of us waiting for our luggage. For nearly two hours. Without any information from Delta regarding where our luggage was. Since we were there, we were reasonably confident that our plane had in fact landed in New York City. So was our luggage not on the plane? Or was it still on the plane waiting to be unloaded? Or had it been sent somewhere else?

Now, for the record, there was indeed plenty of luggage there - just not our luggage. There was luggage from a Boston flight flight for instance, that had been circling the carousel for an hour before handlers finally removed it to a remote corner.

Somewhere (in Boston, I suspect) there were a number of people wondering where THEIR bags were. Had there been a "have you seen my luggage" website, I would have let them know their missing bags were enjoying a holiday in NYC. For the first time in recent memory I had sympathy and felt connection with strangers in Boston, as opposed to the hatred I feel for their baseball fans or the gleeful joy with which I contemplate their loser football fans.

Nearly two hours to get our luggage off a plane and into our hands on a Sunday night. Like my experience with Men's Wearhouse, let me iterate - the last interaction we have with your business will be our most memorable. If you can't stick the ending, you've blown it.

So this will be a brief rant, simple and direct: fuck you Delta. Fuck you straight to hell.

Airline Rant Part 1

2008-03-15T20:42:00.008-04:00

Once again, I found myself flying recently, and shockingly I have some thoughts on the experience.

Thinking Virgin America may be new and exciting, and because Richard Branson went on the Colbert Show and was funny, and because they were $10 cheaper than American, I decided to patronize them for the first time.

Note to everyone who sells anything – don’t fuck with your customers. Charging $10 less, and then only allowing one bag so that everyone with 2 bags has to pay a $10 surcharge for an extra bag is fucking with us.

“But we allow a heavier bag – up to 70 pounds. Most other airlines only allow 50 pound bags” was their justification. So you’re saying we can have 70 total pounds rather than 100, which though I have a theater degree, I'm confident is in fact less. And you’re encouraging us to have one heavy bag rather than two lighter ones. This results in less baggage handling effort for you, sure – but for a rapidly aging population, is one 70 pound bag really a viable alternative? I don’t expect too many of the seniors in the western world - which by the way makes up the majority of the population and will for years to come -are comfortable wielding one 70 pound bag as opposed to two smaller ones.

Alas, after some research, I see that this trend isn't limited to just Virgin America, it's endemic. A Wall Street Journal article from this week (coincidence?) addresses the changing nature of the allowable baggage rules at a number of large airlines. I was pissed at Virgin America, but apparently it's merely just another reason to be pissed at airlines in general.

Also, for the record, naming your airline Virgin America when there’s already a Virgin Atlantic, and then putting them far away from each other at LAX is also fucking with us. Because harried travelers are not going to recognize the difference in enough time, and because cab drivers who may or may not speak English will not ask the necessary questions, and because short hairy Jewish travelers leaving for San Francisco early in the morning will then end up at the wrong place with very little time before their flight. Bastards.

And by the way, you STILL have to pay extra for an internet connection in the terminals. Hotels pull this shit too – you pay $250 and up for a room, and then another $14 a day for internet? Just stop doing this. Stop it. It makes us hate you.

Despite no earlier inclination to be in "business" earlier in my life, I find myself surprisingly embedded in conversations these past two years in what makes a company successful and desirable - the “branding” of companies so to speak. I’ve come to believe that most people would rather pay upfront and be left alone, rather than pay piecemeal for broad services such as travel (see or see also Club Med). The constant pay as you go for services on top of the initial charge of the product inspires a feeling of being taken advantage of, at least it does for me. While I enjoy the idea of ala carte service, you need to be upfront about it, it needs to be well-publicized, and their should be options. Sure, let me pay less for having less luggage, or more for more luggage, but that can’t be a surprise – it has to be an agreement.

For the record, the TSA continues to defy convention where I am concerned. Ironically I boarded my plane pissed at Virgin America, which is known for exceptional customer service, and impressed and thankful for the TSA, known for the opposite. Yet again they were courteous, helpful, patient, and professional… While I’m as ready as most to descry the surveillance state within which we must now operate, credit is due – the TSA has been just fine.

And then on top of everything else, Virgin America's in-seat entertainment system wasn’t working...

Playing Catch-Up Part 1

2008-03-14T19:46:00.025-04:00

Time for my rare update.

When last we left Dan he was entering February with quite a bit on his plate. The past four weeks have seen me home rarely before 11 (when I was home at all) though the activities have been a blend of work and play, and all fun.

We throw a yearly HR conference at work which went very well. We hosted loads of folks from around the world who descended into NYC for four days of why Human Resources is special, what we’ve done for you lately, and what’s next. There’s a couple of big deal initiatives happening, so it’s a great time for a get-together, and we got a lot accomplished. Despite my appreciation for technology and love of computers, as someone who has spent the past year trying to do most of his work via telephone, email, and web conference, I can tell you emphatically that there is no substitute for face to face meetings. Sure, I love traveling, but that’s coincidental; it also just so happens that travel is still the best way to get things done.

During that conference in NY, and last week during some meetings I had in LA, I think I made better progress with some recalcitrant people than I’ve made all year. Not only is it harder for difficult people to be difficult in person, they don’t seem to be as inclined to be so when you’re chatting them up over coffee, rather than via a Webex or teleconference.

Our HR conference was Monday through Thursday afternoon a few weeks back, and that Friday was a catch-up day. Saturday and Sunday were my first relatively free days in several weeks, which I used to handle some chores, and spent time with my grandmother, who bestowed upon me some of my grandfather’s wardrobe. Though always larger than life to me, he was in fact somewhat smaller through the chest and shoulders than I am, and so there’s more incentive for me to drop some more weight. Grampa had some dope threads, and now several choice pieces beckon from my closet. The best item fits just fine though - it's this terrific Scottish beret which still smells of him. He was wearing it when we attempted our helicopter trip this past January, you can see it in the photo from last month.

But back to the narrative... painfully early the following Monday morning after our HR conference I flew out to LA to attend a second conference, this one as a participant. I planned my travel quite particularly, ensuring I arrived with a few hours to spend on the beach before the first session kicked off. No travel drama heading out there, which was nice, because the quicker I got to the hotel, the happier I knew I would be. And I wasn't disappointed.

The hotel – sweeeeet... the Fairmont Miramar in Santa Monica. The view from my room was spectacular, and I had the chance to go for a run on the beach (twice) and had the theme to Three’s Company in my head the entire week. The weather was sunny and in the 70's, and the sudden immersion into spring from the depths of winter was a welcome change of pace.

The conference itself was on corporate ethics and compliance, which has been a big part of my responsibilities for my company for the past 18 months. It's somewhat ironic that I was at that conference and then came home to find out that our Governor, whom I was a strong supporter of, had been sleeping with prostitutes for many years - but more on that later.

The conference material was very engaging. As I've mentioned, I feel quite strongly about integrity, ethical behavior, and hypocrisy, and each of the sessions dealt with either preventing or mitigating the impact of corporate ethical violations. The theme of the conference was "outbehaving the competition" which I loved, and I spent the week immersed in the strategic and tactical aspects of creating and administering corporate ethics and compliance programs, and more importantly - why they are a good idea.

There are legal and HR implications for programs that umbrella both legal compliance and ethical culture, and I was there for the HR side of it. There was additional value to me in my capacity as the guy running our talent management initiative. One issue we hear quite a bit about when considering attracting and retaining the best employees is the blossoming resentment toward hypocritical corproate behavior. Practically every study being done of the Gen-Y and Millennials entering the workforce confirms that they're most concerned with whether they can be proud of the company they work for. In fact, we consistently see that more than money, more than hours or vacation time or health care, working for an ethical company rates highest on their list of reasons to apply and subsequently accept an offer of employment. For myself, I like how this issue is about doing right not just because you have to but because ethical behavior and reputation is good for business as well.

But enough of that and back to the hotel - it had an amazing koi pond, with koi fish that were enormous, and these funky turtles who were all about sitting on the rocks and catching some sun. This little guy was doing yoga, methinks, as you might be able to see both his back feet are up, and splayed, for maximum sun exposure.

One of the evening events the conference organizers had planned was a trip to the Sony lot, with dinner and a studio tour. Thinking (correctly) that it would impress the masses, they also arranged for several celebrity impersonators to wander amongst us and be charming or annoying, depending on their role. As you all well know, the only celebrities I’m impressed with are William Shatner and Julie Andrews, but it was fun to see how much the random folks from random places enjoyed the Hollywood action. Am I jaded, am I too accustomed to working for a media company? I still enjoy time on a studio lot, hearing the history, seeing where so and so filmed this and that, seeing the bungalow in which Adam Sandler writes his prose, and of course I get a kick out of seeing famous folks... but watching some of my co-attendees flip out over the celebrity impersonators – not even the actual celebrity, but some barely-working actor who happens to look like someone with a much more enviable imdb entry – left me somewhat amused and feeling more than a little patronizing toward my colleagues.

No, for me the big treat was Wednesday night’s field trip with my co-worker Michelle. As the last session was concluding, we discussed where we might want to head for dinner. "I was planning on looking for an In-n-Out Burger..." I commented. Her eyes lit up, and I knew it was game-on. Michelle had a rental car, and with a little help from the internet we identified an In-n-Out not terribly far away. Armed with a google maps printout we lived the dream: a double-double with cheese, vanilla shake, and fries animal style.

Yeah, yeah, you’re thinking “it’s fast food” Oh no… it’s so much more than that. Fresh, extra-tasty, and just right. Their menu has four items: burgers, fries, soda, and shakes. Period. I'm very impressed with anyone who does whatever they do well, and In-n-Out does fast food burgers better than anyone else. They do one meal, and do it right.

With the conference over and finding myself in LA, I arranged to spend Thursday on our studio lot and had two very successful meetings with some of my most significant constituents. I was also able to squeeze in a lunch with an old friend from my San Francisco days whose office is also out in LA. We realized that this fall will be ten years we’ve known each other, a relationship conducted primarily via sporadic visits to each others coasts/offices whenever possible.

Work responsibilities complete, Friday I was off to San Fran. Though I was there briefly last year, I didn’t get much in the way of San Fran time in during that trip as I spent most of my three days staying with friends at their place with no car. This time around I rented a little VW rabbit and actually enjoyed the city. My friend Tina was the only person I told about my trip, and the weekend revolved around seeing her and her two girls, visiting my old SF haunts, and eating.

I’d like to pretend my life doesn’t always revolve around food, but evidence suggests otherwise and you wouldn’t believe me anyway. There were several places I wanted to eat, but the only minimum required was lunch at Specialty's. It’s a sandwich shop which had only one or two locations when I was there 8 years ago, but now it's growing like crazy. I spent years waiting for Jamba Juice to make it to NYC, and I’m still waiting for Specialty's to come east.

Tina indulged me and my urgent need to get there before they closed Friday afternoon, though it wasn’t until she bit into her sandwich that she truly understood: she was eating the very best sandwich she’s ever eaten in her life. Except for perhaps mine, which I think was even better (but only because she had wheat bread, and I had the potato poppy bread, which is way betterer).

When I first moved to SF in 1998, Specialty's was the first lunch place I happened across, and it was so good I proceeded to eat lunch there every day for the first few weeks I was working downtown. Their bread, their cookies… everything about what they do is staggeringly good, and eating with Tina in the same place I used to eat when I worked there 8 years ago was as terrific as I anticipated.

During this trip I finally got to meet Tina’s two girls, Ally and Katie, aged 8 and 6. Though I enjoy children, and think I do pretty well with them all things considered, I don’t of course have any of my own and I forget how much fun, and exhausting, being around them nonstop can be. Their energy is nuts! When Tina and I were looking for places to nap, they were still going… forget that energizer bunny, bottle the power of a six year old.

It was fun playing house this weekend with Tina, as much as we did. Not only would everyone naturally assume we were all a happy little family when at brunch and such, we did happy family things like go to the beach together and cuddle up for a nap together. Can’t help but come face to face with wondering if I will ever have any of my own, and if I do, will I have the energy to keep up with em?

Sunday morning it was time to head home, though first we had brunch at Squat & Gobble, which was my go-to Sunday brunch place when I lived there. A quick goodbye and it was back to SFO, and back to NYC. My travel karma however, did not hold up...

Really? I mean, really?

2008-02-14T19:44:00.002-05:00

I have the distinct pleasure of working alongside a colleague of great religious faith, who encourages me that religion and science can indeed co-exist in the world, peacefully.

And then I read this...

Human Rights Watch has appealed to Saudi Arabia to halt the execution of a woman convicted of witchcraft.

read more

FYI - it is, in fact, 2008.

Question - is this about men who actually believe in witchcraft, or is it all about a convenient tool for vengeance, retribution, the disenfranchisement of women, etc. In other words, is this actual belief, or merely convenient?

The Undiscover'd Country

2008-02-10T21:52:00.001-05:00

I've been quiet the past two weeks as my family faced the illness and passing of my grandfather. I was fortunate in my life in that while I only had 3 living grandparents when I was born, those three remained a big part of my life until well into my thirties.

So much of what I've learned about how a family works when it's working, I've learned from how mine deals with hardship. Friends and family flew in from across the country and across the world this week to celebrate the life of Lester and comfort my grandmother, dropping everything because that's what you do, period. And not because we have to, but because we genuinely want to be there during times of need.

I thought of writing a blog about my grandfather, but decided instead to post my eulogy for him, read at his memorial this afternoon. If you hadn't met him, you couldn't possibly get a sense of his spirit through a measly blog post, but I wanted to offer up something for those of you who had met him.

~~~~~~~~~

Standing in the kitchen of the restored old apartment, the tour guide directed our attention to various aspects of early 20th century city living. She described the icebox, and how that impacted food preparation, she talked about ventilation, and the meager windows, and how the people lived in the years before electricity was run throughout the lower east side tenement buildings. And she pointed out a device high above us on the kitchen wall. “It’s for the gas,” she told us. “You’d pay as you used it, and every week or so, someone would have to climb up there and put in another coin for more.” Grampa leaned over to me conspiratorially at that point, and whispered in my ear – “that was my job…”

It was hard for me to imagine a young Lester, as to me, he was always Grampa; silver haired, tender, an easy laugh and mischievous twinkle in his eye. A toast to the family on the high holidays, the head of the table. A gentle giant of quiet dignity, this man who never learned to drive, yet who during the war taught air force pilots to navigate by the stars, and then later pointed them out to his young grandson.

Last October a friend of mine from California was visiting, and we planned to spend the weekend enjoying New York City. “Only one thing” I told her. “I promised my grandparents I’d come up and help them out for a bit on Sunday.” I didn’t want to presume that on her vacation my friend should spend her time visiting my grandparents, so I suggested I drop her somewhere, or otherwise leave her be while I ran my errand. But she insisted she wanted to come along, and the next thing I know, Tina and I are in the Bronx helping with some chores around the apartment, chatting with Martha and Lester, and before too long, of course making jokes at my expense. It was 90 minutes or so later when she and I were back in my car, that Tina told me she had wanted to accompany me because she had grown up without any living grandparents. “But that’s exactly how I always imagined it would be” she said.

Many of us here had the opportunity to praise, and roast, Lester last summer at his 90th birthday party, and even the complaints were affectionate. Seymour pointed out that Lester had an unpleasant habit of pointing out when Seymour was making up his facts, and I remember mentioning how despite his difficult time navigating the world in his old age, we never heard Lester complain. At that Martha guffawed, but I stand by my statement – if he had complaints, the rest of us never heard them. Like his enduring love for his wife, his complaints too were a special gift he shared with her alone.

The years weren’t kind to his ears unfortunately. It was a tragic irony that this man who so loved telling stories so rarely got to hear them, though he never gave up trying. While driving my grandparents to Sedona in 2000 for Heather and Shayne’s wedding, as we raced down the highway, from the backseat Martha was commenting on how lovely the desert was. At one point, she drew our attention to an oddly-shaped cactus as we drove by at 75 miles an hour. “Ohh, look at that cactus” she exclaimed. “Say again?” Lester asked, not having heard her. “The cactus” she repeated. “Wha?”“The cactus, Les” grandma replied. “One more time” pleaded Lester. “The CACTUS” Martha yelled. A confused look crossed his face. “What cactus?” was his baffled reply, looking out at the barren desert not realizing that the object of our attentions had long since receded into the distance.

Lester passed away after a brief illness; just two weeks before his death he was climbing into a helicopter with Shayne and I for yet another adventure, which only his height – and as we later found out, pneumonia - forestalled. Until then he was healthy, lucid, living at home with a wife of sixty four years who adored him, with children, grandchildren, and a circle of friends and neighbors who cherished his wisdom, intelligence, and most importantly, his company. Save for the unrealistic and short-sighted wish that no one ever have to die, that’s the way to do it, no? 90, active, happy, and satisfied; a life well-lived.

As I was posting the announcement of Lester’s passing in his building earlier this week, a young Latino man entered the elevator. Reading my notice, he grew visibly upset. “Aw, man, Lester’s gone?” he cried. This guy, who was easily 60 years Lester’s junior and someone whom I would have assumed was an unlikely fan, then turned to me and said “Damn. He was cool.”

I’ll think of my grandfather often throughout the rest of my life, and when I do I’ll recall a man of wit, gentle grace, and deep love; but most of all, I’ll remember that first and foremost, Lester was cool.

The Giants Win the Pennant! The Giants Win the Pennant!

2008-02-03T22:22:00.000-05:00

I honestly don't know which is sweeter, the surprising Giants win or the surprising Patriots loss. I mean, I take such pleasure in both separately, having them combine - equaling oh so much more than the sum of their parts - it's almost too difficult to calculate the amount of pleasure I'm feeling at the moment.

I mean, it's almost as much pleasure as I took in 1978 as a young Yankee fan...

Or as much as I experienced in 1986 as a certain ball went through a certain first baseman's legs...

But this... this is so delicious...

It's another grand choke for Boston. Yes, yes, I know the losers (see or see also "Boston Fans") will say "But we won the World Series twice in the past 100 years, or we won three Super Bowls in the past six months!" or some other pathetic attempt to salve their shattered egos, but at the end of the day 2007 will forevermore be known as the "nearly-perfect season" each time it comes up, and I'll make sure it comes up very often.

Had Green Bay or the Cowboys or the Colts beat them, it would have been nice, but not nearly as nice as the fifth seed, lowly Giants. The Yankees are avenged... Now if only Giselle dumps the whiny loser boy and by next week Tom's lucky if he can get a date with Natalie from Facts of Life... well, my joy will be complete.

Oh, and Broadway2Boston - we've now added another name for your son. Now he should be "Eli Buckner Dent Manning." Make sure you let Mark know... :)

The Seventh Age of Man

2008-01-31T19:41:00.000-05:00

Two weeks ago my brother in law, my grandfather, and I went on a bit of a field trip - or rather, we tried to. We had hoped that Grampa would enjoy his first helicopter ride and a nice tour of New York City from above, but unfortunately my poor grandad, aged 90 and over 6 feet tall with bad knees, though able to get into the 'copter just didn't fit once he got settled. After failing to find a way to make it work, Shayne and I went up without him and though we had fun, we felt unfulfilled and we knew my Grampa was disappointed. He had been looking forward to one more adventure, and we wanted to give it to him.

Today my family and I spent the day in the hospital, watching over him and ruminating on the frailty of the flesh. He's stable and may recover, but recover to once again be a 90+ year old man - a condition that doesn't improve over time.

Recently when a woman I was dating asked me what kind of man I strove to be I answered without hesitation: my Grampa. Unfortunately for me (and for the women I date) I'm nowhere close, though I won't stop trying.

Reviewing the Situation

2008-01-28T19:47:00.000-05:00

And then there were three... but don't hold your breath.

The one-two punch of Obama's win in South Carolina and Ted Kennedy's endorsement has significantly altered the primary geography for the Democrats in just a few short days, but not only in the obvious way. Sure, Obama looks like he's really catching fire and a big win in a hotly contested state against Hilary is always nice, but there's more to it than that -

My newest favorite candidate John Edwards may stick around waiting for a miracle on Super Tuesday, but his 3rd place finish in his own home state leaves Edwards with no tenable candidacy and he's certain to drop out in the next two weeks. It isn't likely that he'll suddenly be more popular elsewhere in the nation than he was in South Carolina, the only state whose primary he won in 2004, so while Edwards may have enough cash to continue through Feb 5th, he's done.

Let's ignore that my approval apparently equals the kiss of death to Democratic candidates, and instead let me speculate on how what Edwards does next could be significant to Obama. The exciting part of Edwards dropping out isn't if he does it after Super Tuesday, it's what could happen if he drops out in enough time for Obama to capitalize next week. Obama gets a nice bump from Edwards dropping out whenever it happens, but if it happens very soon it could play havoc with the outcome of next week's primaries.

Though it's been a three-person race officially, for all intents and purposes it's been a campaign of Hilary or Not-Hilary for many months, and those who didn't like Hilary enough to support her last year aren't going to suddenly like her now. People either like Hilary or they don't, and I suspect there are very few people who have changed their minds about her over the course of the past year of campaigning. When Edwards drops out of the race, his supporters - and likely his endorsement - will shift to Obama.

The number of convention delegates up for grabs next week could make or break the races in each party, and only a relatively even split keeps the Democratic horserace running. If it goes 70/30 or better for Obama then the momentum shifts and I suspect then it's a slow, painful diminishment for Hilary leading into the convention.

So much of this process is about agreement. Everyone wants to pick the winner and hop on a bandwagon rolling its way to victory. Much of Hilary's campaign has been about the story of its own inevitability, and some of her supporters are people who don't feel strongly about her but want to back the winner and suspect she's it. Others will vote where they think their vote will count the most, and if you feel Hilary will do better in November than Obama, you'll vote for her in the primary to ensure a November victory, even if you prefer Obama (or whomever). This is clearly not all voters, the passionate will remain passionate. But how many are truly passionate, and how many are willing to follow which ever way the wind is blowing?

Which is why the second big event of this week, Kennedy's endorsement, is another huge factor in this race. The Kennedy family remains the royal family of the Democratic party, and Ted has been the crazy, drunken, slightly pervie uncle for 45 years now. His endorsement, along with that of the Kennedy children, add a great deal of blowing wind to Obama. If Ted Kennedy thinks Obama is the future of the Democratic party, and so many Americans appear to be agreeing, even in South Carolina for goodness' sake, then it starts looking like just maybe Obama is the future after all, and who doesn't want to be a part of that?

If Edwards drops before Super Tuesday, or if Obama gets another high profile endorsement - a large union, perhaps? - then I think we'll see a huge Obama win on Super Tuesday, and that's the beginning of the end for Hilary. Which is good for all of us, because she's a phenomenal powerhouse in the Senate, and I'd like to see her stay there, as Senate Majority leader ideally (with Edwards as Attorney General, and Dodd as Homeland Security, Biden at State... ah, a man can dream)

But if that weren't enough, there's yet another wrinkle... hands up who think Bloomberg may run? He's been quietly laying the groundwork for nearly a year, and is likely waiting to see what happens in February to decide whether the nation is so truly dissatisfied with both parties as to entertain an Independent. But it would have to be both parties, not just one... while the Republicans are clearly a mess, the Dems are not (yet). Obama-mania could put the kibosh on a Bloomie run, while if Hilary is looking like the expected nominee, I think Bloomberg might just throw his hat in.

Can you imagine if this race sees the first significant woman, African-American, and Jewish candidates all at the same time? If that doesn't scare the crap out of the Republicans, I don't know what would. Except perhaps an African-America Jewish woman candidate. Lesbian. And Vegan. Nice...

On the more boring Republican side, expect to see Guliani and Huckabee drop out by the end of next week as well. Guliani is betting the farm on Florida, but if he doesn't absolutely destroy the others on the 5th he's out of there, and it doesn't look like there will be any tremendous destruction to be witnessed. Huckabee never had much pull outside of the bible belt, and he didn't show well in South Carolina, so he's done too, and nearly broke. If it comes down to McCain vs. Romney (and it will) then you have national security cred and Washington experience vs. economic cred and outsider status, you'll have aged maturity vs. youthful vigor, or perhaps more accurately you'll have really old cranky bastard who rejects several key conservative planks vs. crazy Mormon phony whose positions change depending on whom he's talking to that day... Doesn't look good for most die-hard Republicans, though it's not so bad for moderates of any stripe.

So here's my predictions for the major event next week:

The Giants win! Thhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeee GIANTS WIN!

And for the other big event, Obama wins big or holds his own and then wins big when Edwards drops out, and it's Obama vs. Hilary and McCain vs. Romney for the nominations heading into the summer. If Hilary comes back strong, look for Bloomie to explore the crap out of an independent run in March and April. He'll want to capitalize on the fractious pre-convention in-fighting, and he can easily spend a billion to get his name on the ballots because he's sitting on nine other billions and won't miss it. But his ego is huge, and he'll only step up if people are clamoring for an alternative. If Obama is blossoming with delegates flocking to his side and high profile endorsements, Bloomberg will stay quiet and stay the Mayor of the world's greatest city enjoying his 80% approval ratings. While being filthy rich.

Further speculations...

If it's McCain vs. Obama coming out of the conventions, which at this point is what I suspect it will be, I think it might just be Obama for the win in November. McCain has a lot of crazy in him, and I don't think we've seen it all just yet, while Obama is looking better and better as he gets the hang of this whole running for national office thing. Though to be candid, I'll never underestimate the Democratic ability to blow a sure-thing election, and I wouldn't be surprised - though I would be ashamed - to see identity politics undermine an otherwise exciting Obama candidacy. Hilary and Obama could sour the entire nation on either of them, such that the Republican nominee looks like a saner choice for the large population of moderate voters in both parties, voters who could go either red or blue, depending on the candidate.

I think the only people who can blow this for the Democrats are the Democrats, and if history teaches us anything, don't put it past 'em...

Obama could actually take this. Though I still would like to see him take a stand on some issues. Actual issues. Not just hope. You're pro-hope. I get it. Congratulations, what a bold position...

Al Gore - unplugged

2008-01-24T21:03:00.000-05:00

Over the past 18 months as I've tauted my firm belief that Al Gore should be our next President (not to mention our current one) I've been prepared to put my money where my mouth is, should he enter the race. Just say the world Al, I'm on your team.

Despite my sadness and concern for the welfare of the entire human race following his lack of candidacy, after watching Hilary and Obama settle into the same old routine of being total assholes to each other, and after seeing the slow diminishment of the once-great Bill Clinton as he morphs into a mean little propoganda troll, I've rethought my disappointment a bit.

I'm glad Al Gore isn't running. Because he's able to do things like this, with no pandering, no spinning, no worrying about how it will play, how it will affect his campaign contributions... Of course at the same time, this is exactly why I'm such a supporter (and I remind you, have been since spring of 1988)

With no fanfare, merely because he was asked his opinion, here's Al's take on gay marriage in America:

Though a deeply religious man, Al recognizes that people forming monogamous pair bonds is good for society regardless of their orientation, and so the government -- though it need not endorse gay marriage -- should not stand in the way.

Yet another reason why the theft of his Presidency is one of the most tragic occurrences in modern history, and not just for America, but for the entire world.

Here's a little more on why I love Gore, written by a contributor at Huffpost:

He says what needs to be said without fear, without posturing. He leads. He succeeds in the worlds of politics, business, and diplomacy. He reads and writes history. He has access to the smartest people on the planet. He has a loving, close-knit family who are his best friends. He rose from the politically dead in 2000, left behind by his "friends" who thought he could no longer help them, having lost an election to thieves.
read more

3rd Tyne's the Charm!

2008-01-20T22:20:00.000-05:00

For a NY sports fan, after a NY team winning, the penultimate greatest possible result of any sporting contest is the team from Boston losing. Any team. Any sport. Boston losing is such a satsifying consolation to New Yorkers, it is like a magic healing salve of nearly all emotional wounds that might ail us.

All through-out the playoffs my most fervent wish was that the Patriots would keep winning, making it to the super bowl with their perfect season intact only to blow their miracle season at the last possible step. Rather than an insufferable record that would last for years, Boston'll instead be saddled with the "almost-perfect" season, the choke, the football equivalent of the Buckie-Ball, yet another great sports indignity that would leave their men broken, their ego's crushed, with the lamentation of their women crying to the heavens for some relief of the shameful indignity of failure that their pathetic half-men subjected them too. "Whaaah, I was a sixth round draft pick, whhhaaaaaaaah" Fuck off, Tom Brady, go knock up another supermodel and whine about everything being so horrible for you.

That it has come to pass that it could very well be the NY Football Giants who could bring about my fondest wish ushering in a future of happiness, sunshine, and bunnies (for everyone but Patriots fans), it's just too delicious to describe. NY winning and the Pats losing? Ahhhhhhh...

Considering their record (and their quarterback) I hadn't even considered it a possibility that the Giants might beat the Packers this week... What a recovery for the guy who was almost the Charlie Brown of NY football for the rest of his life, Lawrence Tynes. He couldn't make two relatively simple field goals, yet he made the extraordinary final one for the win and so will be spared the horrible pasting th NY Post and Daily News would have given him.

Instead, tomorrow's NY Post headline will be something like 3rd Tyne's the Charm, and this guy can show his face in the tri-state area with pride rather than fear.

Such a crazy turn of events, Dallas, Green Bay, and Indianapolis all taken out... Though I can't say I've been much of a Giants fan this season, I do tend to root for NY over everyone else and more importantly I've been a rabid, avid, anti-Patriots fan for years. So let's go Giants!

It's back! But where's Nitro?

2008-01-06T21:04:00.000-05:00

The single greatest show of the 90's is back. I totally enjoyed the new, updated American Gladiators, not the least because it's hosted by Hulk Hogan. Didn't really need to see 2 hours of it, but glad it's back!

Iowa Debrief

2008-01-06T17:58:00.000-05:00

Still wrapping my head around the new primary schedules, amazed that we'll likely have both the Democratic and Republican party nominees in hand by Valentine's Day... can you imagine the pain this summer will bring? Rather than several months of intra-party scrabbling followed by several months of mono-a-mono, we'll get 7-9 months straight of blue vs. red spin. NOT looking forward to it. Especially because Al Gore never jumped in, which would have at least made it interesting. But no such luck.

Considering the candidates we do have, some thoughts following the Iowa caucus:

Obama is doing very well, but the scrutiny has been relatively low. At some point, someone somewhere will corner him and require that he clearly define what he believes in (other than "hope") and Obama'll need some serious answers. Just being the candidate of change will wear thin as more and more people realize that all the candidates are candidates of change, to some degree or another.

Romney outspent Huckabee 6:1 in Iowa, and it didn't help. Perhaps money can't buy votes? Don't believe it... Iowa wasn't going to Romney no matter how much Romney spent - but other states are up for grabs and cash will make a difference in tighter races. Who's going to have the most left rolling into Super Tuesday, and who will have a strategy for where it'll do the most good? My bet is on Guliani to win the finance and financial strategy game. Ultimately it won't help him, but it'll make him a real player this fall, and in the next administration should the Republican win.

Hilary has counted on the inevitability of her campaign for the past year. Now that outcome is in doubt, and if she doesn't win in New Hampshire, she's lost that ground for good. Let's not forget what happened to the most recent Democratic front-runner who came in third in Iowa... Which is good news, as the best thing that can happen for all of us, including Hilary, is for her to stay right where she can to extraordinary good - in the Senate, wrangling Democrats for (or against) the next President.

Dodd and Biden are out - which is a pity, because though unelectable, they were the two best qualified, intelligent, and candid candidates out there. Dodd promises to continue to fight against retroactive immunity for the telecom industry as they try and get away with illegally turning over consumer records to the government. Dodd's a good man; here's to finding a good place for him in the fall, should a Democrat win.

I wish I could like Huckabee more - he's got so much going for him, but then BAM - overzealous religiosity for the win. Despite poll after poll that confirms that fewer and fewer Americans have an issue with homosexuals, and that those who do are aging and will die off before too much longer, Huckabee is committed due to his religious beliefs to pursue the disenfranchising of a portion of Americans he doesn't approve of. While his desire to legislate according to his religious belief is in and of itself neither illegal nor a bar to his running for office, it is something that will keep me from getting excited about his otherwise very exciting campaign and Iowa success. I have no problem with his faith, I do have a problem with his expectation that others live according to his faith...

One last point which was made on TV today, which was so obvious and yet I didn't even notice it until it was mentioned - Obama won Iowa, and race wasn't a factor in the vote. And not only was race not a factor, but that race wasn't a factor went largely unnoticed by everyone involved, and I'm pretty proud of that. I think America is ready for both an African-American President and/or a woman President; whether Obama and Hilary are the two to do it is to be determined, but it seems like as a nation we're ready to consider women and people of color for the office, which wasn't true not terribly long ago. Good for us (little victories, you know?)

Considering who's left, I'm an Edwards man, myself. My friend Adam found a great calculator online to determine where you fall on the political/cultural spectrum. Give it a try - http://www.electoralcompass.com

Brushes with Fame

2008-01-03T21:59:00.000-05:00

I remember once when I was very young, about seven or so, I was watching a movie on TV with my Mom when she recognized the name of a high school friend in the opening credits. That moment stuck with me, as I was very taken with the idea that you could actually know somebody who was on TV or in the movies.

Though my particular efforts in showbiz didn't result in fame, I've several friends and acquaintances that have gone on to some notoriety, and it's rare that a week will go by without some experience of fame-by-association. For instance, driving home tonight I pulled up behind an SUV with a DVD player, and was close enough to note the movie playing in their front seat was Maid in Manhattan which co-starred Marissa Matrone.

Though I haven't seen Marissa since 1992, I've no doubt that if she's ever interviewed by Jay Leno, she'd note that her experience being directed by me in a one act in 1989 was a pivotal moment in her training...

Ups and Downwards...

2007-12-30T17:01:00.001-05:00

I had planned on writing this celebratory post about how awesome my day of skiing was - and in particular how well I did physically - but first let me tell you about how I much pain I'm in just now. An ass-full. Because so damn proud of myself and my fitness, brimming with confidence, I decided to take a yoga class today...

Big mistake.

I fucking hate yoga.

When I was in college and training karate regularly I was very flexible, at least relative to Dan. I've never been particularly limber even at my best, being built much more like a pack animal than a cheetah, but karate helped me to achieve whatever levels of flexibility were available to me and I'm constantly amazed these years later at the ways I was once able to bend and stretch which are now completely inaccessible to me. So every year or so I get this idea to take up yoga, sucked into their marketing on the whole "strong and healthy and limber" angle.

And it doesn't help that a whole slew of friends of mine love yoga, swear by it, and many are instructors. Since many of them are also women, I'm inclined to listen to whatever they say I should do, in the way that a child sitting on Santa's lap eagerly agrees to comply with whatever is said which may result in them getting what they want for Christmas. "You're pretty and think I should take yoga? OK!"

Though what I really want is a stretching and flexibility class, since those don't seem to exist anywhere for public consumption, this morning I packed up my yoga mat (2 years old yet never used) and headed to a local studio. I'm still an absolute beginner despite this being my fifth or sixth yoga class over the past five or six years, because they just never seem to take. This time I committed right from the start - I signed up for the beginner's 3 classes in 3 weeks dealie, and jumped right into my first session this afternoon.

The instructor was quite good I'm sure, and she was patient and pleasant and all, (and limber and totally cute - which helps) but I still couldn't find myself getting into it. When I'm in the gym, and feeling good, warmed up, and in that workout zone - I like it. Really like it. I revel in my own strength, in the movement of my body, in the weights I can press and the engineering involved, the physics of the physical. So I wonder if my lack of enjoyment of yoga comes from my inexperience, beginner's inflexibility, or really just hating yoga - in theory not just in practice. It's a good workout, no doubt, and it takes a lot of poise, strength, and effort, but my body just doesn't seem to like it. When I was heavier I assumed I needed a yoga for fat people class, but even now a thinner Dan still has trouble breathing in the poses, the room is uncomfortably warm, my body doesn't want any part of it. And I don't want to bow to you and say "Namaste" for the same reason I don't suddenly forgo a fork and eat with chopsticks when I'm in a Chinese restaurant. And frankly, as much as I love dogs, that downward dog pisses me off too.

There's no doubt it's effective; here it is several hours later and I'm watching football, wiping crumbs off my chin, and hurting. My legs are sore, my back tight...ow. Fucking ow. Fucking yoga and fucking downward dog. Believe me I'm not averse to exercise pain. I like a good sore, I crave that feeling of accomplishment that comes from pushing your body. But the practice itself - and the fact that it's a practice, and not merely a workout - is what turns me off. So, two more classes to go, if I don't like it more by then, I'll call it quits (until next January, I suppose...)

Yet on the other end of the spectrum, Christmas Day I went skiing as I am wont to do each year. It's a tradition for me that began in 1997, and I've only missed one or two since then. This year I was up and at 'em early, my alarm ringing at 5:00am and my chosen butt out the door and on my way by 5:20. In the wee smalls I met up with Adam, Eric, and Jay for our three hour drive up to Okemo and our first tracks of the year; just four more Jews amongst the thousands of dentists and accountants who enjoy a Joyous Noelle of skiing.

The first run of the season is often tough as your legs are out of ski-shape and it's challenging to prep for downhill skiing as the kind of resistance training that you need to do isn't easy to recreate in a gym. Generally you just hope for the best, and accept that it's gonna hurt. Additionally, skiing for me for the past few years has been difficult because my body just didn't want to hold up for a whole day of effort. My quads would give out sometimes as early as 1:00pm, never making it to the 4:00pm last run down the mountain. I'd spend much of the afternoon doing short hops with frequent breaks to rest, and even at my best my legs were often burning by lunchtime. This year, as we drove up through Massachusetts and Vermont, I was eager to see how I'd do having not only lost the weight, but also having spent so much time in the gym over the past year.

First pleasant surprise of the morning: my gear fit better. First unpleasant surprise: I now need a belt for my ski pants. Which, truth be told, was initially a pleasant surprise until I had trouble keeping my pants up as we walked to the lift. Jay was the best skier of the group, and Okemo was a familiar mountain for him, so he planned the runs all day and Adam, Eric, and I followed. After an initial intermediate blue trail or two to warm up, we started moving into the more advanced terrain, which not only provided more challenge but also removed us from so many of the undesirables on the mountain; those newbie skiers and snowboarders who are always much more dangerous to others than they are to themselves.

By our third run, I was feeling great. My legs weren't tiring at all, we were keeping to a good pace, and were all able to stay together. Lunch, which from habit I knew came just about the time I was beginning to feel the pinch of leg muscle pain, surprised me because I was feeling so good when Jay called a break. We had been skiing black diamonds and high blues for nearly three hours, and I was still raring to go.

My favorite moment of the day came around 2:00pm when I came around a bend to find Jay paused, waiting for us, leaning over his skis and resting his weight on his poles. From long experience I knew that stance - taking the weight off your legs to rest them. Me, I hadn't yet even felt a glimmer of muscle fatigue, and here our best skier was starting to wind down. By 3:30, Eric was also feeling spent, and Adam was taking shorter hops between rests as well.

It was such an extraordinary experience to be the person in the best shape for some activity. I was feeling so good that though we were finishing up, when Adam spontaneously burst out with "one more run" I joined him. Now, you should know, a cardinal rule of skiing is that you never, ever, under any circumstances, succumb to the siren-song of "one more run." It is always that last run, the greedy run, that does you in. Always. It's expected on the mountain that doubtless someone will shout for one more run, and it's the duty of everyone nearby - even strangers - to remind them that under no circumstances do you ever, ever, take one last run.

Of course it wasn't until Adam and I were back on the lift that I realized the extreme danger that my over-zealousness had just placed me in, and I began to wonder what it would be - a broken leg? Torn ACL? Hitting a tree? I was doomed, I just didn't yet know how. I couldn't believe I was so stupid! What a rookie mistake. One more run indeed... Well, I'll have plenty of time to regret my impulsiveness from the hospital bed, no doubt... Jay and Eric were on their way down to base, and Adam and I would never be seen again.

Due to my diligence, caution, and I'll assume an easily distracted fate who was looking another way that afternoon, Adam and I did indeed both make it down without incident. I took it slow and steady, and we reached base at 4:00pm on the dot, where it occurred to me that not only had I skied the whole day but I did so without pain and muscle fatigue and more importantly - with a smile on my face and plenty of gas left in my tank for more. The weather was so-so, the mountain wasn't my favorite, the snow was mediocre at best, but it was my best day of skiing in years.

Going again this week, if anyone wants to come (and you can keep up!)

Happy New Year everyone -

On the way home from work...

2007-12-22T20:38:00.000-05:00

Not during my commute, but this is my subway line... No I didn't witness it live :)

What's Next?

2007-12-22T19:40:00.000-05:00

This season naturally brings folks to consider the year that has passed and to reflect upon their successes and failures. Though I've never been shy about examining my failures, many of them are either already recorded on this blog or were intentionally left out, and so instead I'll focus instead on what's next.

Work continues to go very well. While I never mention specifics, many of you know where I work and what I do, and it's been an exciting year and a very exciting December. I recently spent the day at the New Jersey facility of a company we've just acquired, and met with a number of folks with whom I'll be working with on the assimilation of their people and corporate culture into our own. Radical redefinitions of both their organization and ours on the horizon, as we grow by about 6,000 new employees in the NYC metro area. I've also been working closely with many of the vendors I deal with, and they keep asking me to join panels and advisory groups for their products - which certainly might merely be flattery, but I'm not opposed to flattery... My company is contemplating extraordinary changes of direction and focus in the next few years, and I'm very excited about where I am and what's to come.

In the health and fitness realm 2007 has seen major changes. I began the year taking daily high blood pressure medicine, weighing 251 pounds, with my new doctor telling me I can "eat as if you have diabetes now, or wait until you get diabetes in a few years." I began taking my health seriously, with the result that last summer I hit my eight year low of 197 lbs. I've plateaued a bit since then, hovering around 200, but after the holidays I plan to get back on track toward my ultimate goal of reaching 175.

For those of you who asked how I did it, three particular things stand out: drink water instead of everything else you're drinking (especially caffeinated drinks), weigh yourself every day, and don't eat food that won't spoil. For that last one, what I mean is eat the stuff along the outside of the supermarket, food that requires refrigeration and will go bad someday, and avoid all the food in the middle that won't. If it has a shelf-life, it doesn't belong in your body. By avoiding high-processed foods and eating more simply, you make digestion much easier on your body which frees up energy for other things, not the least of which are activities that help you further lose weight.

And for the record, I no longer take high blood pressure meds...

Romantically, one of the benefits of my new fitter body and healthier state has been a significant impact on my dating life, yet my focus has always been on the quantity and not the quality of relationships. While that has been exciting, I'm done with that for 2008 and intend to remain single for a while. Nothing inspires less desire for a new relationship than the ending of the last one, and I'm clearly not ready to make room for someone in my life just yet.

I've been delving into the realm of faith this fall. I've not given the faith of my fathers much of a chance as an adult, and yet I can't help but consider that my untethered adult life is at least partially attributed to not believing all that strongly in anything in particular. Having recently met an extraordinarily faithful person, I'm in awe of what her beliefs provide her and wonder if I might find me some of that too if I were to actually start looking for it. I'm such a fan of being Jewish, yet I've spent very little time studying the accumulated wisdom of the culture of which I'm so proud. Taking recommendations if you have them.

One of the cults/educational institutions I've been a part of always made a big deal of public declarations of intent and specific measurable results. They encourage "enrolling others in what you want" to support you in getting it, and ensuring you're on the hook for the results you've committed to achieving. So, without further ado, public declarations of intent for 2008:

Health: 175 lbs, 10 pull ups, 50 push ups, 7:30 minute mile. Presently I can do 8 pull ups and 30 push ups and run a mile in 8:45, so I've got some work ahead there.
Finances: Budgets... oh, it's painful even to type... I never do budgets. Yet I lost weight by being intentional and deliberate, so I'll try applying rigor to my finances and see if it has a similar result. Weekly budgets, knowing where my money is and what it's doing, clarity around the material things I want instead of impulse-purchasing...
Romance: Off-line only. Despite 11+ years of online dating, I'm so done with that. From now on, I get to know them first and then date them and not the other other way around. My focus will be on getting out and meeting folks, doing things, interacting in person, rather than hiding behind the computer. Clarity around what I'm looking for in this realm too, instead of impulse-dating.
Work: More of the same for 2008 - continuing to keep an eye open for new possibilities and opportunities with my company. I'd love to see a new position or new location become available in 2008. Had a good talk with my boss last week, so we're both on the same page about what's next for me.
Judaism: 2008 will be a year of studying faith and my lack thereof. Visiting some temples in Manhattan, and deepening my involvement with B'nai B'rith.

Couple more posts coming over the next two weeks, some things in the news and some observations to be made. I've had less to post about these past few months because I've been hibernating more and more; while earlier in the year I was doing a lot, creating stories to write about, this fall has been quiet.

We'll see what 2008 brings in terms of blog-worthy moments...

Harvest Time Round-Up

2007-11-25T18:17:00.000-05:00

Having heard from several loyal readers that I've been slacking most distressingly these past few months with my posts, I couldn't possibly further disappoint my dozens of fans! Of course I cannot, and so - harvest time round-up.

It struck me yesterday as I was driving to my family's yearly Thanksgiving gathering that this was my 37th Thanksgiving, and I've spent 35 of them the same way: on the Friday or Saturday of the holiday weekend (to escape traffic; my family is much more practical than sentimental) my father's side of the family gets together. For years we rotated between my parents' house and my aunt's until the cousins began setting up houses of their own and entering the rotation, and then a few years back we settled into cousins Donna and Ed's place due to its central location. I missed one year when I was in England, and once while I was in San Francisco, but other than that it's a tradition that's stood the test of time for a family that doesn't have all that many traditions.

Though I look much more drunk than I was (which was not drunk at all) here's me getting caught by one of the camera-wielding fiends that turned the event into the digital equivalent of a 3-camera shoot. Fully documented and recorded, I don't suspect we went more that a few minutes without some photo being snapped. If you listen closely you can hear my sister's scrap-booking scissors snipping away today as she turns the raw footage of the event into a page or two somewhere between her dog's first birthday party and our upcoming Chanukah party. The family changes with fresh additions and the loss of those fondly remembered, but the event goes on.

Sukkot followed by Thanksgiving are anachronistic reminders of the agrarian past we all share, which puts me in mind of the biblical prophesy about one reaping what one's sown. Ever since I was actively involved in the Landmark courses a few years back, I've been burdened with a keen sense of accountability. Those courses work to focus your attention on the areas of your life you've abrogated responsibility to other agents - be it people, a deity (regardless of the mythology you adhere to), capricious fate, or random chance - and while they haven't always inspired me to take responsibility, I suffer from the keen awareness of when responsibility is lacking both in my actions and in others. This past month I was encouraged to realize additional ways in which I'm not taking responsibility for how I've been pursuing romantic relationships.

Another bit of philosophy of Landmark's is the idea that you always win the games you're actually playing. For instance, for years I claimed to be playing the health and fitness game and losing, while I was actually playing the watch TV and eat pizza on the sofa game which I won easily. Being able to deduce from the circumstances what games you're actually playing will provide insight into those subconscious behaviors that may be inhibiting you. This past month, with the help of yet another woman who now hates me (and who is reading this post, I expect) I've learned three valuable lessons. The first is that I expect others to be playing the same games I am by the same rules I am and yet they rarely are (and there's no reason to expect that they are except my own hubris) and secondly I realized the extent to which I never discuss the rules in advance with those who I invite to play with me. But lastly and most importantly is that I'm not actually playing the game I claim to be pursuing.

In the interests of brevity and discretion, let me just jump to the end result: it's entirely possible I just don't want the committed relationship/marriage deal. Not sure that's true, but the evidence would suggest it and I can't keep ignoring that I don't appear to have the patience or willingness for a committed relationship in my life. Letting you all know in case you were really expecting that June wedding next year.

Other goings on these past few months...

In October my Boston friends held their yearly October party, which isn't so much a Halloween party as a "remember when we were all in college and no one had kid? Remember how much fun that was?" party. Now since I still live that lifestyle it's not such a big release for me, but as I'm the only single person there, and one of the very few without children, I can totally understand that for the crew it's a very nice opportunity to cut loose. Unlike everyone else, I tend to dress up for it Halloween style, because as I said, I need to make it more of a challenge seeing as how the novice level is just my regular daily life. This year I thought about going as one of those Chippendale Stripper cops, but as usually happens when I'm involved, it turned into a big homo-erotic thing before I was done, and I ended up looking like the cop from the Village People if he were even gayer. Pictures exist, but of course I won't be posting them online. (And if any of those who have pictures decide to get rambunctious, just remember the many photos of you which I possess; Mutual Assured Destruction worked for Reagan, it'll work for me too...)

I had my first experience of Reiki this past month, which was something I enjoyed. Though a very relaxing hour-long Reiki session was interpreted as a success by the practitioner, and my thoughts during the experience were interpreted in a way that supports the claims of energetic healing, I was left with the cynical conclusion that since it was low-light, the end of a hard-day, light touch, and soft music, how could it not be relaxing? Yet despite not feeling post-Reiki effects, either positive or negative, the Reiki session itself was very soothing and pleasant. Some of the interesting moments: at one point when I was asked to roll over, it took me a second to "remember how". My mind knew what I wanted to do, but I needed to take a moment to plug back in my nervous system for the message to get to my body, as I was in some deep relaxation. Another point during the session I had the vague sensation of two people entering the room, an older black man and a young white man. It was hazy and dreamlike, and I didn't remark it much when the thought crossed my mind, but a few minutes later I suddenly thought "hmm, that was odd" and I made sure to mention it when the session concluded. "Those were your spirit guides" was the response by the Reiki master. I always kind of hoped my spirit guide would be a dog or a bear, but apparently the guides come and go. All things considered I really can't complain about the job their doing, so go get 'em, spirit guides.

I finally made it to a yearly Diwali celebration that my good friend Namrata and her husband Quinn throw each fall. I've been invited in the past and hadn't yet been able to make it, but this year it worked out and I had fun seeing them in their natural habitat. Since practically the first day I met her Nami has been one of my favorite people, and we normally only see one another on the volleyball court where she and I are two of the greatest corporate volleyball players of all time. The chance to see her and Quinn, who is equally special, for extended non-volleyball related conversation made for a great night.

Diwali is an Indian equivalent of Chanukah; a festival of lights that Nami celebrates each year by inviting her Indian and non-Indian friends to partake of a bit of her culture, food, and her home much the same way I'd be inviting her to my passover seder should I ever have one. She knows I'm fascinated by Indian culture, in particular the extraordinary communities of Indian Jews that have been thriving in Mumbai and New Delhi for centuries, and I appreciate her indulging me.

I write this as the day's football games play out in the background. Giants just got creamed, and the Jets got creamed on Thursday. For some reason I'm much more into football this year than ever before, after having been much more into baseball this year than I have been in some time. Compensating for my gay Halloween costume perhaps? Normally I'm a fair-weather sports fan, Yankee baseball has always been important but even that was generally only during the late summer through the playoffs. This year I was watching the Rockies, watching the Red Sox (while booing ferociously) and every Sunday I've been watching football like a typical, heterosexual guy.

It's hard for me to be a football fan though, because I really don't have a team. Despite growing up in Connecticut I can't possibly enjoy the Patriots because they're not New England's team despite their name; they're clearly a Boston team through and through. And though I'm primarily a New Yorker, I agree with my brother in law that the only true NY team is the Bills as the Jets and Giants play in Jersey, which makes them both Jersey teams (again, despite their misleading names). Once upon a time I was a fan of the Bengals because I clearly remember watching them in the 1981 Super bowl which is one of my first football memories, and they were the team I played when I played my Commodore 64 football game. But none of these are compelling reasons on which to base one's team allegiance today.

In a fit of cultural pride I thought I'd root for the team most comprised of Jewish players, merely because what is more anti-stereotypical than an enormous Jewish linebacker? But alas the only one I learned of was the San Diego Chargers, and I can't take San Diego seriously as a team. If only the Patriots would have moved to Hartford a few years back, I'd have been all set. But now? Taking suggestions...

What I did on my summer vacation... part 2

2007-10-20T21:38:00.000-04:00

In July I had a terrific weekend camping with the guys. I hadn't been camping in years, and needed to borrow most of my gear from my sister and from Adriaan, but I was excited for the outing for a number of reasons. Adriaan and I don't see each other nearly enough, and it was a chance to meet some of the other friends in his life; friends of his I had met before, but hadn't spent any length of time getting to know. Overall we had a blast together, although it occurred to each of us, several times, that it's a good thing no one else could hear our conversations - every stereotype of men you could imagine was on display that weekend, and the depth of our laughter was only matched by the depth of our occasional and well-deserved disgust with ourselves.

This trip was Adriaan's idea, and with complete disregard for our physical condition he suggested we hike Mt. Washington, the highest peak in New England. I was a bit nervous heading into this weekend, unsure of how I'd do physically on such an arduous hike having been relatively sedentary for much of the past few years. But I'd been hitting the gym with some regularity, and well... not to boast, but I play volleyball. So I wasn't too worried.

Base camp was at Colin's house in New Hampshire. I left work and NYC mid-afternoon on Friday and began my long drive north, arriving at Colin's place about 11:00pm. Colin lives back in the woods, woods which I'm sure to a local would occur as distinct from all the other trees and moose they have up there, but to me was all pretty much "woods." Apparently I sacrificed a skunk on my way north, because as I pulled in to their driveway, Colins dog cried... I wasn't the last to get there, thankfully, as Jonathan actually had to work late into Friday afternoon and then drive up from Boston, and so the three of us repacked our gear and made fun of Adriaan until Jonathan arrived around 11:30. Early the next morning we were up and out,and fueled with equal parts maple-glazed donuts and Mt. Dew (symbolic as well as tasty) we arrived at the base of the mountain just after 6:00am.

The first stage was a hike up to the campgrounds, a warm-up that took about 3 hours and foreshadowed the experience of the rest of the day. It was clear very early on that I was going to be the sweatiest one of the group, though I must say I was very pleased overall with my success. I've always felt like I'm built like a pack-mule, slowly and steadily plodding along despite heavy burdens (oh, the symbolism!) and carrying my pack and working my way up a rocky slope did nothing to dispel that image. I was nothing if not a hairy, Jewish llama.

Arriving at the campground around 10ish we selected our lean-to and unloaded our gear. Moving only what we'd need to summit and return to a smaller day pack, we left whatever we wouldn't need that afternoon behind and after a quick refresher, continued up the mountain. The hiking is very rocky, and at times very steep. As we climbed in elevation the trees disappeared and we even came across the last remains of the winter snow. Considering it was July and I was hiking uphill with a pack, it was the perfect place for a nap.

Weather was ideal, actually. Had it been even 10 degrees warmer, I don't know if I would have made it, but as it was, the harder we worked, the higher we climbed, the cooler it got. If only everything in life was so perfectly in harmony with my preferences.

And climb we did. Up. And up. And UUUUUUUP. Some scrambling on hands and knees, loads of switchbacks, loads of water and trail mix breaks. Plenty of opportunities for outdoor pee-breaks from national landmarks, which I've been a fan of for years... This was some serious hiking. I began to think we were the only men tough enough to brave such a climb, for surely never before have four such specimens as we tackled the mighty mountain! We had an early start and so I was lulled by our relative privacy into thinking that we must be doing something extraordinary that no one ever does. Hike up Mt. Washington? Suicide? HA! We laugh at you!

In fact I think it was merely that we were up before everyone else who didn't need to secure a campsite early, because as the day wore on, the numbers of our co-hikers increased dramatically. And not only did their numbers increase, so too did their ages. I was happily shocked to see a number of elderly climbers ascending - more slowly, yes, but over just as difficult terrain, and with dogged determination. That both inspired and embarrassed me, because by the time we were approaching the summit, I was - well, not a wreck, but I definitely well-used.

We approached the last few strides with enthusiasm, and when we stepped onto the pavement it felt odd and surreal to be back in "civilization." Cars, tourists, hawkers with novelties, a big snack shop, etc. Another time I might have driven up and enjoyed the drive, and been one of the people atop the mountain wondering where the worn, bedraggled zombies wandering amongst us had come from. As one of those zombies, however, I fiercely resented the car-tourists. It was about 12:30pm, I had been hiking up for several miles and over several hours, and wanted no part of waiting on line for water because you're thirsty after finishing your waffle cone. Adriaan told me there was a separate lounge for hikers for just that reason, and though I didn't avail myself of it, I was glad to know that others before me had similarly despised the soft and lazy car-tourists. That being said, I can't wait to drive up there myself sometime...

I'm happy to report that I was not the most disturbing specimen that day. Adriaan, my best and dearest friend for years, was a total wreck and I was laughing my ass off at him. I was positive he was going to go all back in 'Nam on us and lie down on the mountain telling us to go on without him. That last half-mile he didn't say a word - just face into the wind, one foot in front of the other. Up most assuredly didn't agree with him, though he later showed us all how down should look. But I jump ahead. Firstly - the summit:

We didn't want to seize up while still needing to descend several miles back to our campsite, so our break was brief. After refreshing ourselves on soup and chili dogs for about an hour, we headed back. Suddenly transformed into a mountain goat, Adriaan all but flew down the mountain. While I, with my crappy knees made of popsicle sticks and elementary school paste, I found the descent much more difficult than the climb. I had to work my quads much harder to protect my knees from each jarring step, so as we worked our way back down, I really, really had to work.

Eventually, we found ourselves back at the campsite. I had wisely packed my sandals, and so immediately changed out of my hikers and got comfortable. We got our water, made some dinner, played some cards, told dirty jokes and emitted foul odors, and when the sun went down around 8ish we eagerly went to bed. At one point a guy and his son came by and were checking out our lean-to, to see if they wanted to join us. We pretty much fell over ourselves in pointing out that Adriaan had gas, I snored, Colin hadn't showered in a week, and Jonathan had condemned the outhouse by single-handedly maxing out its "suggested usage level" in one session.

Which was pretty prescient, all in all. While it was rude and inhospitable, in fact I had the gas and Adriaan was snoring like a balding, chocolate sprinkle-eating Dutchman, and to hear Colin and Jonathan tell it, we did those two a favor by encouraging them to move on. Apparently Adriaan and I canceled each other out, because we both slept rather well, but Jonathan and Colin... not so much. In any event, when dawn broke, we cleaned up camp and started back down to the car.

The next morning wasn't so bad - sore early on, we warmed up quickly and were in good spirits by the time we got back to the car at about 7:00am. A quick refresher at the base lodge (including a nice flush toilet and more Mt. Dew) and we were back in the car on our way to Colin's place and then back to New York City.

I wisely planned on taking Monday off, which was the day the pain really hit. But overall, my body and my spirits were in good shape. When Adriaan asked if we wanted to do it again sometime, though I couldn't imagine it just then, the air, the unprocessed, unfiltered experience of unspoiled nature, and the camaraderie all made for a thrilling experience. And I've now got specific measurable proof than I am in fact in better shape than I've been in years despite my advancing age, and if that weren't enough, I have a new bumper sticker on my car to show for my efforts:

GO!

2007-10-12T20:42:00.000-04:00

What I did on my Summer vacation... part 1

2007-09-22T18:48:00.000-04:00

This month is back to school time all across the U.S., and despite having been out of school for several years, the circadian September - August rhythm still holds sway in my life. Summers are for slacking, the Fall is for action, activity, motion, getting things done.

While this past summer hasn't been nearly as eventful as last summer (thankfully) I have had some adventures that due to timing, discretion, or disinclination I haven't written about, so I thought I'd do an end of summer wrap-up; clear the decks, so to speak, of the news you haven't yet heard about.

There's was a world premiere of a movie at Radio City Music Hall, which was less fun than you'd think it might be. A couple of stars were there, sure, and I appreciated the opportunity to see a movie at Radio City, which feels like a wonderful "old timey-New York City" thing to do. Walking out of the movie I happened to catch a woman with extraordinary breasts and was remarking to my friend how she looked like Ice T's wife when my friend jabs me with his elbow and whispers, pointing to the guy behind her "That's Ice T!" and sure enough it was.

The last time I was that close to Ice T was 15 years ago in Hadley, Massachusetts during a concert of his. He flubbed a couple of words during a song, and the crowd boo'ed a little bit. "Fuck you!" he shouted out to us, laughing. "I've got 200 mother-fucking songs, you try and remember all the words!" He also has said one of the funniest things on TV, during an episode of Law and Order. When he and Richard Belzer were confronting a gangster, the gangster asked Ice T "Who's that guy" gesturing to Richard Belzer. "That's my Jew" was Ice T's reply. Now, no one who has ever seen him act will mistake Ice T for someone with any skill or artistry in the craft, but his delivery of this line was so fricking brilliant, embodied such a world of African-American/Jewish relations and experience... Well, I was jealous of Richard Belzer that day, let me tell you.

And if that wasn't enough, Ice T''s Original Gangster album is one of the five greatest rap albums of all time, and he was one of the first rappers to come out as... well, if not supportive of homosexuality, at least indifferent. "She wanna be lez, he wanna be gay? Well that's your business, I'm straight, so nigga have it your way..." My point being, I'm an Ice T fan. Not so much that I'd bug the man while he was trying to get out of a crowded theater, but it was exciting none the less.

And the movie was pretty exciting as well - the latest Die Hard. A real solid action flick, though like many recent films the entire premise was based on a lack of even a rudimentary understanding of Information Technology and computer networking, and the plot expects that its viewers are equally unburdened by knowledge in that arena. The absurdity of Hollywood's repeating impression of both the supremacy of computer networks to control our lives, as well as the extraordinarily well-funded and implemented consipiracies that with a few flicks of a few switches can take control of them, continues to baffle me. It's insidious, in that it simultaneously inspires an unwarranted fear of technology as well as false impression of our government's competence. As someone who has more than a passing familiarity with the topic, I assure you that the reality is that our networks are neither that vast, nor that well-organized, connected, and maintained by anyone.

It plays into the "this is something you don't understand and so should be afraid of, but we understand it, so relax and let us take care of things" marketing that many forces in our lives, including our current executive administration, try to encourage. The end result is we're left with yet another low-level background fear, a constant thrumming of danger in our lives, which we're willing to abrogate all responsibility for. "Protect us, and we'll let you!" becomes the refrain, from the terrified masses cowering in the face of the magic that has befuddled them.

Yet the truth is the average sixth grader - in fact, even the below-average sixth grader - has more accurate and complete knowledge of science, medicine, and the world around them than 98% of the human beings who have ever lived. Aristotle, for all his genius, didn't know most of the facts that our children take for granted. We live in an era of unbridled technological riches, which is the result of an embrace of science, a willingness to face into the great unknown future into which we're hurtling, and accept what comes. The absurd fear-mongering of movies like The Net, and this Die Hard, while taking liberties with the truth to tell a story do everyone a disservice by presenting something in a horribly distorted light, yet in such a way as many folks will never recognize the difference between their false-reality, and the actual one.

Some other things I've done -

Earlier this summer I took a "Play" course, a one-day class given by a group here in NYC that focuses on the games we play in life, the overt and subtle rules we expect others to play by, and how we can interrupt their games. One of the exercises was a quick "first impression" snapshot of each person in the class. We stood up in front of them after only fifteen minutes of interaction, and each person wrote up a quick snyopsis of the games they thought we were playing. We were given these cards at the end of the day, to do with what we will.

Consistently my cards came back with "I'm smart and perceptive so you'll like me" and "I'm smart and aloof so you can't touch me" and similar. One of my favorite came from a woman I had been flirting with, who wrote "look at how non-threatening I am, I won't hurt you (yet)" which was shockingly prescient. The class was a lot of fun, though I don't know that I actually learned anything or got anything out of it. It was a pleasant way to pass a day though, and I look forward to more courses with them.

I've spent some time this summer actively seeking out emotionally connected people. Earlier this year I read a fabulous book titled A General Theory of Love which describes what happens in the body when we fall in love - the physical manifestations, how it actually happens. One of the interesting points in the book had to do with the search and experience for love having to do with what we learned as children, what strikes us as familiar or alien in terms of how people express themselves to one another.

Often when an infant falls down, it will look to others to determine whether it should cry or laugh, to help it gauge what it has experienced as severe or inconsequential. From our earliest days we learn how to interact with the world around us from the people and culture we were borne into. While I've inherited countless extraordinary talents from my family and culture, I don't think I ever learned some key lessons regarding romantic attachments. Having been more or less a hermit for much of my adult life, I'm theorizing that I lack some of those fundamentals, which has resulted in my reactions to my romantic experiences being so confusing to those hapless unfortunates who have wanted to marry me.

By spending time with folks who are comfortable and open with their emotional sides I hope to gain some better sense of how to enjoy mine. And if nothing else, I get a whole new appreciation for "energetic healing" which is apparently something hippies like to do when they aren't doing yoga or tie-dying things. So far, so good!

And lastly for this installment, for years I've had "learn how to play poker" on my to-do list, and earlier this summer I began paying $60 a week for poker lessons. At least, at the end of the day, that's what's happened... Poker Object-lessons, I suppose it would be more accurate to say. It's been a lot of fun, and I'm getting better and better at it. I can tell because last time I played I only lost 57 dollars... Come on, Aces! Daddy needs an iphone...

Big Mistake. Huge.

2007-09-16T15:32:00.001-04:00

As much as I despise poor advertising, I'm a sucker for what I deem to be good advertising. Friday night during the Yankee - Boston game (one of the best games in a long time) McDonald's got me with a fun commercial. They're trying out this new Angus burger, and they're making a big deal about how it's only in select markets.

Playing up that theme, they have a bunch of Boston-southie types envying NYers who have access to this apparently amazing new burger, pleading with NY to support it, ensuring they'll soon be able to get it up in Boston too. Burger King has had an Angus burger since 1994, but the recurring theme in all McDonalds advertising is that no other sources of food exist in the world, and so the commercial is at least internally consistent. More importantly, it was a terrific commercial for the game; funny, fun, playing with the Boston/NY rivalry... very well done. Though I haven't had a McDonald's burger in months - and I haven't had Mickey D's when not on the highway for many, many months - yet I decided I'd give this Angus beastie a try.

Big mistake. Huge.

The normally over-salted and dry McDonald's patty is palatable smothered in their over-sugared ketchup when it's comes in at a quarter-pound or less, but this extra thick, dry, salty, mealy patty of meat on their gross yeasty, sugary bun... so not worth the money and the ramifications of the 820 calories, 43g of fat, and 65g of carbohydrates it cost me. I'm a sucker for a decent ad, and been suckered before, so I should have known better. All summer long I've been barbecuing, and some friends at work and I are doing a "best burgers in NY" lunch tour. I must be an eternal optimist in thinking this burger might be satisfying in some way considering my elevated burger standards.

"But Dan" you may say "that was only one burger. You can't condemn an entirely new sandwich campaign based on only one experience!" Oh yes I can. McDonald's spends millions of dollars - MILLIONS - ensuring product consistency. Consistency is a declared aspect of their corporate identity - so either this is how they wanted the thing to taste, or they failed at ensuring that no matter which McDonald's I walk into, anytime, I get the same culinary experience. In either event, they own the problem and not I.

All is not lost though. The good news is, the McGriddle has never let me down. Never. It's always there for me, like an old friend...

The Forgotten War

2007-09-13T20:36:00.000-04:00

Americans on the whole barely remember the War of 1812, and often when they think of it, if at all, it's to wonder exactly why it requires an overture all its own. The seeming lack of significance of this war in U.S. history belies the tremendous impact that this conflict had on our nation.

This second war with Britain, occurring just a few decades after our revolution, put the survival of United States at stake. Anything less than a stalemate, and the terms for peace with Britain would have undoubtedly included renouncing our recent independence and returning to British rule. Though it wasn't a popular or particularly rousing conflict, we were fighting for our continuing independence and the right to conduct the affairs of a sovereign nation. And two years into it, the Americans weren't doing very well.

Earlier in the summer of 1814 British forces had decimated an unprepared American militia and marched into the recently constructed Washington D.C., forcing President Madison to flee. After literally eating the President's abandoned dinner in the White House, the British burned it and the Treasury building, humiliating the young nation and plunging our morale to its lowest point. Pushed out of Washington by a fierce storm and the summer heat, the British forces next chose to move on the thriving port city of Baltimore. In the early nineteenth century Baltimore was the primary hub of our Atlantic merchant vessels, as well as a staging ground for our ragged navy of pirates and privateers.

To lay siege to such a large city, the British would require that Baltimore couldn't be supplied or reinforced by sea, which meant controlling Chesapeake Bay. If they could take the Chesapeake Bay, and the city that commands it, the British could effectively cut the fledgling American nation in half, denying each half vital communication and trade with the other. As the British ground forces moved into position, the British Navy sailed towards Baltimore.

The only thing standing between the citizens of Baltimore, and the nation, and defeat at the hands of the British was Fort McHenry. Yet small Fort McHenry had never been through a battle, an this unproven fort with short-barrelled cannon faced the most powerful and well-trained navy in the world. The British Navy had much longer guns, and could easily stay beyond the range of the fort's meager cannon fire, attacking the Americans with impunity, which is exactly what they did.

In the early morning of September 13 the British began what was the single largest artillery bombardment in human history. For twenty five straight hours, over three thousands rockets and bombs were hurled at the small fort, and the garrison had no choice but to endure the shelling. Hunkered down in crowded underground bunkers, unable to fight back because the British remained out of range of their shorter cannon, the defenders had no alternative but to withstand the unrelenting bombardment for hour after hour.

Meanwhile, the citizens of Baltimore watched from the heights as their only hope endured the British assault. Merchants, tradesmen, women, and children all relied on the small fort and its young men to hold firm. Loss of Fort McHenry meant the loss of Baltimore, their livelihoods, and possibly their lives. Yet how could they possibly hold out against the British Navy for long?

The battle was also being observed by a young lawyer who had been visiting the British Admiral under a truce-flag. He was on board the Admiral's ship to negotiate the release of a prisoner of war, and because he had heard details of the imminent attack, this Maryland lawyer was obliged to remain aboard until the battle was over. As dusk turned into darkness, young Francis Scott Key passed the night as a guest of the British Navy while it shelled his countrymen.

And it was a very dark night; moonless with heavy rain. Both the fort and the city of Baltimore were in complete blackout to reduce ambient light, not wanting to assist the British with their targeting. It became so dark that the only way to gauge the battle came from the exploding rockets and bombs, momentarily lighting up the night sky, providing a fleeting glimpse to those watching for any sign that the fort, and their fates, might crumble. Watchers fixated on the one point they could discern through the flashes of gunpowder - the small American flag flying above the fort. If the fort surrendered it would strike the colors, so as long as the flag still flew there was still hope. Helpless, the citizens of Baltimore and the young lawyer could do nothing but watch and wait. The night and the shelling wore on, and everyone wondered what the morning would bring.

As dawn broke on September 14, 193 years ago today, the citizens of Baltimore peered into the early morning gloom to learn their fate - did Fort McHenry hold, or had it fell, dooming the city? What greeted them that morning stunned them; waving in the breeze above the Fort was indeed an American flag but it was not the small, ragged, ripped flag of the night before, but rather the largest American flag anyone had ever seen.

Earlier in the war when it became apparent that it was was unlikely Baltimore would escape unscathed, the Fort's Garrison Commander Major George Armisted commissioned a Baltimore seamstress to sew him a very special American flag, one so large it could be seen from the city five miles away. In that darkest hour just before dawn, this prescient Major lowered the small storm flag and raised for the first time what has become our star-spangled banner. 30 feet by 45 feet, it was the largest American flag in the world; pristine, enormous, and unscathed, and it was a message to the fearful city- the fort held.

The new flag was also easily seen by the British Navy just a few miles offshore, and wisely the Admiral deduced that if Fort McHenry wasn't going to submit after the twenty-five hour onslaught it had already received, there was nothing remaining in his arsenal that might do the job. Abandoning his hope for Baltimore, the Admiral gave the order to weigh anchor and he sailed the fleet out of Chesapeake Bay. Deprived of their naval support, the British ground forces also decided to pursue easier pickings, and they too moved on, leaving Baltimore - and the United States - intact.

Francis Scott Key was moved by what he experienced that night, and by what what our soldiers endured for their country. He quickly wrote a poem about his impressions, which was originally titled the Defense of Fort McHenry, but soon became known as The Star-Spangled Banner. After years of unofficial status as our defacto anthem, in 1931 Key's poem and the music it was set to became our official National Anthem by an act of Congress. It's a four verse song, though we're only familiar with and only sing the first verse, and over the years many have argued that it's not a fitting tribute for America. Some have proposed America the Beautiful and God Bless America as better songs for the job, more accessible and easier to sing.

Yet I say we didn't just pick the Star Spangled Banner, we earned it. And the men and women of our armed forces deserve it. Today is not a holiday, there are no parades on anyone's behalf. Few ever consider the War of 1812, and fewer still the Battle for Baltimore. But those guys sat there huddled in the dark while getting shelled for 25 hours, and in doing so, saved a nation. Damn it if they don't deserve a hell of a good song for that.

Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro' the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watch'd, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

Ode to James Stockdale

2007-09-09T16:32:00.000-04:00

I had planned on blogging today about Jewsapalooza, occurring in Riverside Park this afternoon, but after nearly two hours of driving I found myself only on First avenue and 64th Street, with all of Manhattan to cross and several blocks north to travel before I could even begin looking for parking. So I bailed on the event and came home.

It's so hit or miss with driving in the City. Most of the time I have relatively little difficulty, such as yesterday when I left my place at 10:15, drove to the lower east side, found a metered spot across the street from where I was meeting Rob for lunch at 11:00, and walked in to the BBar and Grill fifteen minutes early; the whole thing couldn't have been easier. I tend to have decent driving/parking karma overall, and I test it with some regularity, but when it goes wrong it goes spectacularly wrong, like it did this afternoon.

The source of the problem today? For some reason New York City loves to give permits to these roving street fairs we're plagued with every summer. Weekend after weekend the exact same collection of bad street food, towels, tools, and as-seen-on-tv products stretch for blocks and blocks. Today, a whole swath of third avenue was closed to traffic, which would be fine except for this particular swath is the neighborhood that the 59th street bridge feeds into.

With backups all the way into Queens, I assert that thousands and thousands of cars spent at least an hour in traffic just to get by the snarl this fair caused. I spent more than an hour, but let's be generous, and say one. And let's assume that there was an average of two drivers per car - I was by myself, but there were plenty of full cars next to me, so let's just say two. So I assert that eight thousand person-hours were lost to traffic today, with three thousand gallons of gasoline (at 2.85 a gallon) fuming into the air, just so that a thousand pedestrians could stroll along and perhaps buy some irregular socks. This is the sort of thing that makes me crazy about city planning: to wit - the lack of all planning.

It doesn't help that the only way I could have more road-rage while driving in Manhattan is if I were taking anabolic steroids as well. Nothing makes me angrier, crazier, and hate NYC more than driving in it, when the driving is going poorly. It always seemed to me that the focus of traffic patterning should be to get cars off the roads as soon as possible, and yet the poor signage, absurdly inconsistent one-way streeting, and complete lack of traffic enforcement all contribute to the eternal gridlock. The city has for years run a "don't block the box" campaign, to attempt to keep intersections clear, with dubious results. Part of the reason the program isn't more successful is that the worst offenders are the city buses themselves. I'd love to set up a camera at Fifth Avenue and 57th Street one week, and record the sheer tonnage of traffic violations the buses should be cited for, it would be staggering.

I've been considering moving out of Queens for some time now, as some friends of mine are putting together a crash-sublet in NYC (place to shower and sleep, for those of us who are home less and less). I originally got my two-bedroom apartment because I had a live-in girlfriend and a dog, and now that I have neither I just don't need this kind of space. I like my place, but it's accumulating stuff at an alarming rate as I'm filling the empty spaces of my apartment with things that I've become attached too, and yet I don't want to live like that just now.

One of my biggest concerns about moving back to Manhattan is my car - I don't think I could keep it in the city, and I would hate to pay for a spot, but I like having it so much... yet this afternoon I noted that I'm never so angry as when I'm driving, which got me thinking that perhaps the car wasn't so great for me after all. Tonight I'm going to assess the yearly cost of the car, and do some checking vs. the expected costs of the occasional rental for out of town trips, and get an idea of where I land. I love having it, I'd miss it, but is it a legitimate reason not to move back into the city?

My goal is to become a veterinarian because, um, I love children....

2007-09-03T18:27:00.001-04:00

Now this is more like it! I've found her, the one for me. Such eloquence, such poise! A shiksa-love goddess for Dan...

Although, there could be some complications down the road... At least she has a bright career ahead of her.

Thoughts on being an asshole

2007-08-31T23:25:00.000-04:00

"You're an asshole."

Like an old friend, there it is again. An old friend? No, that would imply some welcome, some celebration at the cessation of a too-long separation. I didn't miss being called an asshole for the period, the all-to-brief period since the last time. When was it, just three weeks ago? Different woman, different location, same tears, same circumstances. "I can't believe you're being such an asshole!" For a moment, the snarky detached part of me wonders however that could be true. Of course you can believe it; this is no more a surprise for you than it is for me. Am I the only one who's played this conversation out before? Isn't this how it always ends? When one person doesn't get what they want, isn't the other person an asshole? I'm not talking by definition, but rather in practice. Sure, in the best of all possible worlds, we all love one another and all that crap. But here. Now. In this lifetime. Does it ever go any other way?

Assholes are not born, they're made. You make them. With every uncommunicated need that I'm not fulfilling, with every unmet expectation you haven't made me aware of, with every grand fairy tale of how it will go this time which you've spun and I'm not privy to, each of these is a hammer-blow, chipping away at the better parts of a man, reducing him, rehsaping him into the asshole that's left over. I didn't pay attention to her the way she wanted me to, as much as she wanted me to.

She keeps telling me how I feel. I really don't feel any of that. I do feel maligned, misused, abused. I do feel like I'm the only one who realizes relationships neither start nor fail in a vaccuum - there's two of us in there, so you have something to do with it too, no? I do feel like you're being an unwinnable game, and yet you're mad at me for losing. I try and maintain my balance. It's not about being right or wrong, she's upset, just listen and let her talk. But it's not fair. Yes, I know, it's not meant to be fair. But what a nice change of pace that would be.

Once again I've disappointed a woman because she didn't get the relationship she wanted. I didn't either. I never do. I never do. I never do. Did someone promise you a relationship just the way you like it? Is it only women who get to have it their way? Or is it my own fault (of course it is) because I never hold them accountable for failing me the way I've failed them.

"You lost interest in me, it's obvious." There it is again. The immaculate relationship. The passive voice. I lost interest in her, clearly I've broken some deal we made. To do what? To never lose interest? Did you break your end of the deal when you told me how boring I was being (twice) last week? How about when you say hello by asking "why haven't you emailed me, you're ignoring me." Our past few interactions have been little more than accusations of how I've disappointed you, and yet somehow my interest in you has waned. It's a baffling mystery. Expectation kills desire. Not just for me, for everyone. Or is it just for me? Maybe it is, maybe that's the source of my mysterious yet apparently inexhaustible supply of assholeishness.

Stay connected... don't bail... Aww, fuck that. That's bullshit. She's calling me an asshole. Over and over. And she's crying. So she must be right. A crying woman trumps a disgruntled man every day. Is she upset I'm not more upset? Another example of how I'm not living up to her expectations.

I don't enjoy being an asshole. I'm sorry you're unhappy. It was and is my fervent wish that I give you joy and not pain. But I'm not at your beck and call. And I'm not a mind reader. And I've neither overtly nor implicityly promised or committed to anything in the two weeks we've been seeing each other, so I don't feel like your critique of my character is warranted. You're not entitled to the amount of me you seem to think you are entitled to. Frankly, you haven't yet earned it.

You won't get my attention by demanding it. If that makes me an asshole, ok. It's not the first time. This month. Ironically, it's not even the first time a woman named Becca has called me an asshole in the month of August, and what are the odds on that? This Becca in front of me has no idea that it was exactly 12 months ago that the other Becca was screaming through a slammed door, railing against nature, her misfortunes, and yours truly in the next room. As I realize I have the makings of an annual tradition, I nearly laugh out loud.

I so need to stop dating. Really. I clearly don't know what the hell I'm doing, practically every time I go near a woman they end up crying and calling me names. I'm like Lennie trying to pet the tender little mousie, and I keep thinking I'll solve the problem merely by finding a heartier mouse.

I know so many things that other people don't know, how is it I never learned how to do this better?

Definition of Irony

2007-08-29T19:09:00.000-04:00

iro·ny
Pronunciation: 'I-r&-nE also 'I(-&)r-nE
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -nies
Etymology: Latin ironia, from Greek eirOnia, from eirOn dissembler
(1) : incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result (2) : an event or result marked by such incongruity

See or see also:

Burning Man Torched Early; Artist Held
SAN FRANCISCO - Burning Man became Burnt Man four days early on Tuesday, and a San Francisco performance artist was arrested on suspicion of igniting the signature figure of the counterculture festival in the remote Nevada desert. read more

Is there anything more counterculture than being counter- counterculture? This guy exemplifies the spirit of Burning Man! You can tell by the face paint and the nudity.

Though of course I'm not a Burning Man kinda guy, so what the hell do I know?

Best show you're not watching

2007-08-25T20:27:00.000-04:00

I started watching USA Network's Burn Notice solely because Jeff Donovan was starring in it, and I've been a Jeff Donovan fan since we were in a play together back in 1989. Within the first five minutes of the first episode, before the credits even ran, I already knew this was my new favorite show.

It's on Thursday at 10:00pm, and repeated several times throughout the week, and it's gooooood.

More importantly, it totally cleanses the palette of the last big thing we saw Jeff in...

Evening with a Congressman

2007-08-22T22:23:00.000-04:00

I was invited to join a regular roundtable event put on by the B'nai B'rith of NY each month, which focuses on politics, government, and diplomacy and often includes foreign diplomats and mission members from the United Nations. This past Wednesday they sponsored an evening with U.S. Congressman Eliot Engel, representing parts of the Bronx, Yonkers, White Plains, and Rockland County.

In preparation I did a good deal of research on Mr. Engel, hoping to find some tidbits I could focus on - how did he vote on the Protect America Act which recently rubber-stamped Bush's warrantless wiretapping, for instance. Yet I was pleasantly surprised to find a Congressman after my own heart - his voting record, the committees he's on, even his campaign finances all demonstrate a man of integrity and commitment to public service, and the more I researched the more I was looking forward to meeting him.

The evening went well, and the Congressman spoke for a little more than an hour. Since his committee assignments and some of the legislation he's sponsored demonstrate an expertise in the areas of hazardous materials and consumer protection, I asked him about the recent recalls of Chinese products. Specifically, I wondered how he and his colleagues might be able to invoke necessary consumer protection laws against the imports of a nation that owns $1.3 billion of U.S. debt and has already threatened economic retaliation on other matters. Alas, the Congressman's answer was somewhat vague and non-committal.

After the roundtable I had a few minutes to speak privately with the Congressman, and he admitted that he felt mine was the question he answered least satisfactorily. "Why is that?" I asked him. He went on to tell me that he felt the need to be intentionally ambiguous on the topic of China. The Congressman said that what many in Washington think and feel about our relationship with China is quite incendiary, and not something they like to discuss publicly. "China will be our biggest challenge" he told me,"economically, politically, and militarily."

I'm not so self-effacing that I didn't thrill a bit at hearing this - not because I'm looking forward to a showdown with China over Taiwan, energy demands, treasury bills, product safety, or trade imbalance, but rather because I've been saying that very thing for several years. To have my private assessment of a particular issue echoed by a 20-year congressional veteran serving on the Foreign Relations committee inspires in me more than a little bit of pride. Not that the threat of China's ascendancy is a some great secret, not at all, but for years as we have focused on the threats of the Middle East and ignored the threats of the Far East, I've felt we were focusing on the short game and ignoring China which is a far greater, though less immediate, danger to our prosperity.

I also had the opportunity to explain some vagaries of the English language to the Ambassador from Argentina, who wasn't entirely sure about the subtle distinctions between Democrat, Democratic, and democratic. Or rather, he understood them fully but the Americans who were using the terms incorrectly did not, resulting in a very confused diplomat. I was able to advise the Ambassador that he was likely a more proficient English speaker than the folks writing the copy that was baffling him, and that when in doubt his Excellency should continue to trust his English language education.

Sometimes I really love living in New York...

Summertime Dan

2007-08-12T19:48:00.001-04:00

A few years ago I remember telling my friend Adam, after he complained that I hadn't done anything with him all summer, "of course not, it's summer..."

Though the exact start and stop will vary from year to year, essentially from July 1 - September 30, I really don't do things. I mean, sure, I'll do some things if I must, but they have to comply with the the basic rules of Dan's summertime activity: if it's indoor there must be air conditioning, and if it's outdoor, it can't require I dress (or even look) nice.

I've been relatively successful this year, though I must admit against my better judgment I've attended some indoor events with a level of air conditioning that could only barely be considered adequate. Most of my family and friends know my temperature requirements, accept them, even enjoy them as a source for comedy. My great friends Dave and Olivia invited me down to their place in Philadelphia for the weekend, and when I hesitated to reply, she suddenly remembered "oh, right - not till October then..."

I've always been uncomfortably warm. Like my father before me, and I assume our fathers dating back to the very first short, hairy Semite who uttered the first "Oy." It's better this year, having lost quite a bit of weight over the past few months, but I don't suspect I'll ever be comfortable with the temperatures that others barely seem to notice.

This past week in particular was very hot. And next week I'm on a stay-cation, hanging out in my apartment and neighborhood, relaxing before we get crazy busy at work this September. So I decided to do something I've wanted to do for years. I don't know if it will help me stay cool, or if it looks cool, but it sure was fun to do.

What do you think?

Harry Potter Freak-Out Weekend

2007-07-22T19:40:00.000-04:00

Coming late to the Harry Potter-craze, picking up the first book shortly after the fourth had been published (thank you, Adriaan) I have since made-up for my early lack of enthusiasm with an absurdly over-zealous enjoyment these past few years. The few weeks leading up to Saturday's release of the seventh and final book was passed in anticipation and eager excitement, re-reading the final few books, seeing the fifth movie, and planning what turned out to be a very well-executed Harry Potter weekend of glory.

Yup, read the book. Finished it. And though I won't be providing any spoilers (though I must note how effective my spoiler-proofing proved to be) I will say that the ending has a satisfying thorough-ness, and finishing the final chapter of the final chapter, I was content. But first, the what-happened:

For over a year now I've planned on spending the weekend of the release of seven with one of my favorite people/Harry Potter fans Kelly, and since the date was set last winter, so were the essentials of our plan. I'd meet her in Boston, we'd get the book at midnight, and then proceed to read until our eyes bleed, or we finish, whichever comes first. Circumstances changed, and the specifics weren't finalized until just a few weeks ago, but that's pretty much what happened.

Taking the day off from work (Harry Potter Freak Out Day is not yet a national holiday) I left NYC armed with my iPod and my radio off. Total media blackout was both my strategy, and my advice to other folks seeking a spoiler-free experience for the last book. I had assiduously avoided all the places I suspected spoilers may accidentally have been posted, as well as those who intentionally offered to ruin the experience.

Despite a two-hour parking lot on I90, I arrived in time to meet with my co-conspirators Kelly and our friend Liana and her husband Mark, and to head into Boston to meet Pete and Eliza. Harvard Square had been transformed into Hogwart's Square for the evening, and costumed fans, students, and tourists co-mingled as the night's festivities commenced. Harry and the Potters and their companion bands were playing (I had seen them earlier in the week) though we decided instead to have dinner nearby at Grendel's Den, a very nice place serving very small portions from a themed Harry Potter pre-fixe menu. I eschewed the pri-fixe menu for my dinner and that made all the difference, getting a well-done medium rare hunk o' burned cow instead, and loving it.

Books had been reserved for us all over town, hedging our bets. Though the Coop was bustling, it was so bustling we decided against sticking around. The line was staggeringly long, and the books hadn't yet been paid for, leaving us confident that at 12:05 we'd still be hours away from reading should we stay. Off we went instead to Pandemonium Books, which served us well.

A small Sci-Fi, Fantasy, and Gaming shop of the kind that I loved as a teen, and grew out of as an adult, Pandemonium Books was perfect for our purposes. It had been hosting a release-party, with loads of misfits dressed as their favorite character. As we walked down the stairs I noticed that the basement was where they host their role-playing game tournaments. "It's full of games" I observe. "And a crapload of nerds" someone nearby helpfully adds.

Pre-paid, we get some coffee and hang out until 12 when everyone lines up. Almost before we know it, with books in our greedy little hands, we're heading back to the car - I check my watch, and it's only 12:05. Couldn't have gone better.

Back to our Harry Potter pad, and we settle in to read. Liana checks out by 3:30, Kelly and I are still going. At 4:00am Kelly wants to head to sleep, so I figure sure, let's get some sleep and get back to it in the morning. But I'm wide awake. Thankfully, less than 15 minutes later Kelly, also wide awake, says she's heading back to the book. Me too!

Watching the sunrise through our peripheral vision, we keep reading well into the morning. A quick break for some well-made breakfast by our hosts, and we enter the home stretch. Kelly finishes first, and her gasps, sighs, and crying both excite and worry me. She's nearly a hundred pages ahead of me (wicked fast reader, that Kelly is) so I know I've got stuff to look forward to.

By noon however, I needed to get going. I've been up all night, and I have a 4 hour drive ahead of me. Not wanting to risk attempting the drive even later in the day, I head back to CT, resuming my read after a long drive and dinner. By 11:00pm I'm finished. Sunday, I re-read the last few chapters, to ensure I got em straight.

So there it is. All over but the re-re-reading, and the post-game checking to see what was accurately predicted, and where I was all wrong.

I'll give you a few more days to read the book yourself before I get specific.

Takin a break...

2007-07-18T20:04:00.001-04:00

As if you didn't already know this, I'm taking a bit of a break. Got a list of things to write about, but with Harry Potter this weekend, I know I'll be busy freaking out like a 12 year old for at least another week. You all must be very proud of me...

Some upcoming posts: the Die Hard movie premiere, the Simpsons movie, work, climbing Mt. Washington, being back on Jdate again (for better or worse) and lastly - Harry Potter!

Hope your summer is going great!

D

One Year ago today...

2007-07-17T20:11:00.000-04:00

Astoria lost power, and I lost my doggie. Still haven't decided what I'd like to do with his ashes, so for now he's still... um... resting in his container in my spare room.

RIP Zekey-beast

Nothing to lose

2007-07-02T21:31:00.000-04:00

" Everybody gets pinched. But you did it right. You told 'em nothing and they got nothing...I'm proud of you. You took your first pinch like a man and you learned the two greatest things in life...Never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut."

- Jimmy Conway, Goodfellas

Not surprising that this afternoon after ensuring a federal appeals panel wouldn't do it for him, Bush pardoned Libby. And why not?

With an approval rating that last week hit a new low of 26%, what does he have to lose? The only people who still approve of GWB are his most fiercely loyal supporters, so he may as well get value as he can from his slim remaining base. It's not like he gets any credit from the 74% by not pardoning Libby, and it's important that he send a message to the other folks in his administration who are laboring to keep his secrets that he can be counted on to cover your butt as long as you don't snitch.

The Congressional Research Service, had identified 700 provisions in law questioned by the administration

With over 700 intended exceptions to his credit, Bush has always assumed he was above the law. Who's shocked that immunity is a privilege he extends to those who serve him well?

But she's not a girl... she's a fish!

2007-06-24T17:58:00.001-04:00

Spent the first part of this past gorgeous weekend at the Coney Island Mermaid Parade.

Some friends and I planned to meet to catch the festivities, but as with all best-laid plans, we found ourselves finding one another through a subtle blend of cell-phone calls and spastic waving. While the parade marched on, we slowly worked our way to each other, observed the craziness, and enjoyed the amazing weather.

Afterward I hit the beach for the first time this year, and the first time at Coney Island in years. The water was freezing, but despite the cold and my previously published fear of fish, I figured that in honor of the mermaids I should dive in. After lazing about in the sun for a bit, we eventually split up as I headed home around 7:30. Fun day, well spent.

This year the parade had more of a purpose than in the past 24; it was a protest march, as the freaks and geeks of Coney Island are up in arms over several recent zoning decisions that severly impact their neighborhood. Having finished ruining Times Square and the Lower East Side, yet another greedy NYC developer has decided to destroy Coney Island by building overpriced condominiums despite all evidence to the general lack of interest in overpriced condominiums.

The marchers focused on saving Coney Island from the same mall-ification and fedder-izing that have done such damage to the characteristics of other, prized New York City neighborhoods. The process works the same way over and over again: a neighborhood is ignored and begins to go derelict, so hippies and artists take advantage of its cheap and illegal housing and move in bringing an arty and eclectic vibe. Before too long developers notice the vibe, buy up some property, and then tease the tragically un-hip to move in and enjoy the hipness vicariously.

Of course the first thing that the new residents do after moving in is complain about the people, noise, and grit that drew them there in the first place, leaving the original denizens priced out of their own neighborhood and hounded by the police. Meanwhile the developers are already looking for the next big thing thing to turn a quick buck.

This year's parade helped to mobilize the masses somewhat, joining hippies, artists, the Brooklyn Borough President, and the families and friends of Coney Island behind a common purpose. Though getting them their I suspect was the easy part; getting them to march down a street in an orderly and timely fashion is another story altogether. When the parade would stop for tens of minutes at a time, you couldn't help but wonder what the hold up was down the line - unless someone particularly interesting was directly in front of you, in which case you didn't care so much...

Even more challenging is to get the parade watchers to watch in a way that doesn't totally ruin the experience for everyone else. Showing complete disregard for those who got there early and found themselves a spot on the curb were hundreds of people who just walked down the street, and occasionaly stopped and stood in front of everyone else. I particularly enjoyed the people who lit up cigarettes to begin slowly killing the children whose view they had just obstructed.

Which of course got me ruminating on our culture, which seems to have moved to prefer packaged and prefabricated with production values over real, real-time, with spirit. With total disregard for spectators and parade-marchers alike, as if there was nothing more important than their videography, hundreds of photographers would literally stand in the middle of the parade route shouting like paparazzi. Intent on capturing the parade for those who weren't there, they relentlessly blocked the view of those who were. Looking to sell their work for later viewing to reproduce the experience, they made it very difficult for those who were actually having the experience.

Nothing really to do about that, just... you know, there it is.

From The Onion...

2007-06-14T07:03:00.000-04:00

Having endured acting in a Merchant of Venice in which I was costumed in a red, white, and blue track suit...

And a Romeo and Juliet with Madonna, En Vogue and Run DMC on the soundtrack...

I particularly appreciate this piece from The Onion. For those of you who have not spent time making or attending community and academic theater please take my word - they nailed it.

Unconventional Director Sets Shakespeare Play In Time, Place Shakespeare Intended
MORRISTOWN, NJ—In an innovative, tradition-defying rethinking of one of the greatest comedies in the English language, Morristown Community Players director Kevin Hiles announced Monday his bold intention to set his theater's production of William Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice in 16th-century Venice...

Full Story Here

Their night

2007-06-10T23:00:00.000-04:00

Loving this! Choreography and Best Musical as well...

These griefs and losses...

2007-06-10T22:13:00.000-04:00

The Spring Awakening juggernaut continues to roll on, but the second Tony nomination I was hoping would convert to a win alas didn't transpire. Unfortunately Liev Schreiber didn't pick up Best Actor in a Play for Talk Radio this evening.

I'm a fan of Liev's work and of Liev, who was in a play with me back in 1989 -- yes, I know he's a Tony winner and multiple nominee, but he was in the Merchant of Venice with me; as was Jeff Donovan and Kate Wilson.

I've no expectation that Liev remembers me at all, or if so, it would be in a hazy sort of "well, sure, I know some short hairy Jew played Lancelot - was that you?" kind of way, but I remember him well. He was very talented even at age 22 prior to his work at Yale and RADA (he was a Hampshire College senior at the time) and he had a bawdy sense of humor and bold self-confidence of which I was in awe.

Should I ever happen to make it onto Jay Leno or Conan, I hope Liev can be there as well, because I have a heck of a funny story to tell about my dear Mr. Schreiber and some gastro-intestinal distress he experienced during one of our performances...

13 minutes later...

2007-06-10T20:37:00.001-04:00

Steven just won again! Oh my ass, I'm gonna plotz...

Live Blogging the Tonys

2007-06-10T20:23:00.001-04:00

Some of you may remember 12 years ago when I first moved to New York City I worked for a playwright named Steven Sater. At the time people would ask me "Is he famous? Has he written anything I'd know?" and my reply was always "Not yet, but he will..."

We're 23 minutes into the Tonys telecast, and Spring Awakening has already picked up two awards, including Best Book of a Musical.

I can't tell you how proud and honored I was to watch my old friend and boss accept the Tony for his efforts, and to have my prophecy of 12 years ago come to pass. Never have I met a gentler, more talented, more committed writer with greater love for his craft. To watch him achieve his dream is truly exhilarating.

Has it been a month?

2007-06-10T19:09:00.000-04:00

Ya, indeed it has. I appreciate those of you who have checked in, either to assure yourselves that my silence hasn't been due to some ill news, and also those others who've merely complained that I was in danger of being removed from their favorites if I didn't get my fingers to typing.

All is indeed well. Quite an exciting and busy month, with an interesting blend of things I can't write about, and things which leave me very little time to write at all. A promising relationship began and came to an end, a major project at work is coming to fruition, friends visiting me, me visiting friends, a funeral, two conferences, drunken karaoke, two concerts, volleyball, softball, and the gym, and of course - the finale of Heroes!

Firstly and most significantly, a roller coaster few weeks with a particularly wonderful and equally challenging woman. We were just starting to get serious when I last wrote, and because she reads this blog (that's presumptuous of me - she read it, I don't know if she still reads...) it seemed to be both polite and wise that I not post about our relationship. I regret that I told her about the blog early on (or at all?) for essentially the reasons laid out in this article so I won't bother writing them up in my own words.

That wasn't what ultimately did us in, though it did set the stage for what turned out to be the dealbreaker. We found we had a fundamental difference in the way we interact with others in our lives; differences for which I just couldn't see us finding a compromise. There are many aspects of my character I would happily, or at least grudgingly adjust for the love of a good woman, and this is a hell of a good woman we're talking about, but at the end of the day, this thing about me she found infuriating and insulting wasn't just a minor thread, but the whole cloth from which I am cut.

I wouldn't be who I am if I changed this aspect of my life, even if I could change it, which I doubt. There are many of you who have heard something like this before from me and will no doubt think this is just Dan coming up with yet another reason to end a promising relationship. Not so... while it was ultimately my decision to end things, she initially brought it up after a particularly enraging night. We didn't agree on whether the relationship should end, but we both knew we had a hell of an issue between us to address.

I really liked (like) her, but looking ahead at our future, I knew it was buying happiness on credit to stay together - immediate gratification, but a hell of a bill to pay, with interest, looming in our future. I'd rather fail early and quickly then drag it out, as you all well know, so go ahead and let me have it. But before you do, I remind you of one of the core philosophies to which I subscribe:

"I do not expect, by acting thus, to escape criticism;
merely not to deserve it"
-Thomas Bracket Reed

As we were splitting, she said to me two things I've heard quite a few times before: that I don't yet truly want a monogamous relationship and that when we're alone she feels she has my complete attention, but when we're in public she felt like everyone else but her held my attention. Not entirely sure what to do about that... I mean, sure, intellectually I know, but how do you change that in practice? I keep failing to conform to what other people think a relationship with me should look like, and meanwhile I've never been able to have a relationship look the way I'd like it to look.

In other news, work is going well. Been a super busy month, with many long nights and weeks, as a challenging project nears a major milestone. We're about to go live with something we've been developing for several months now, and though the work truly just begins once we do cross the threshold from development into production, I'm none the less very proud of the work we've been doing.

This month we lost Rosie, my first cousin twice removed (my grandmother's first cousin's wife) after an illness. Rosie has been a presence in my life since it began, and though it's not much of an epitaph, I'll think of her every Rosh Hashanah as I fondly remember and greatly miss her legendary noodle kugel.

And just this past weekend a few close friends came to visit me and we had a killer night of Manhattan-romping. Being with them affirmed my choice about the recently ended relationship, as we all enjoyed a fun, flirty evening of innuendo, double-entendre, and frolicsome off-color banter. I like off-color banter. I like flirting with people, and being the guy who says the thing that makes people laugh -- or even better -- gasp audibly. I wouldn't be me without that behavior, and a woman who doesn't enjoy that about me, or at the very least tolerate it with grim resignation, will just never be happy with me as a partner.

Now I'm off to watch the Tonys -

Set a Course for Adventure...

2007-05-10T14:13:00.000-04:00

When I was 20 and traveling Europe during my junior year abroad I took ferries across the English channel a few times, across the North Sea once, and to Arran and the Orkneys. On every journey – every one of them – I found myself enjoying a range from mildly to vehemently seasick. It’s been 17 years since I’ve been “at sea” due primarily to my predictable seasickness, and a small part to my belief that fish hate us and plot our doom.

So imagine my surprise when bravely stepping onto the decks of the Norwegian Dawn, floating serenely 12 miles off the Long Island coast 20 hours into a 72 hour cruise, and I’m not pre-post-or mid barf. On the contrary, I’m doing better than some - there are many on the ship feeling really badly, while me, not so much. The ship’s moving around a bit, but we’re pretty lucky in that the seas are calm and so is my stomach. The weather today is pretty crappy though – heavy fog which is pretty spooky. We’re totally isolated out here – I know we’re in the middle of the ocean cognitively, but experientially it’s a bit like a sensory deprivation chamber – just the boat, the ocean immediately under us, and a silent, roiling Scooby Doo quality fog surrounding us.

The conference is going well; a couple of good workshops this morning, and I’ve met a few vendors who seem to offer services we’re looking for. Not much of a cruise in the traditional sense; the whole boat is conference people, and so the services aren’t standard cruise stuff – meals are scheduled, the pools are closed (we’re supposed to be in meetings, not at the pool) and there are no kids running around, but all in all, I’m having a good time.

Interestingly enough, I bumped into some people I know. In fact, those of you who remember a certain Asian woman I went on a semi-date with a few weeks back will be as surprised as I was to find her on the ship with me. I was taking the air on the promenade, and there she was representing her business, while I was representing mine. Now, knowing the kind of year Dan has been having, you will of course assume that she immediately fell into my arms and got all Love Boat-y on me.

Alas, life doesn’t imitate art as often as we might like, and in truth, I’m actually seeing someone else at the moment whom I’m missing and who would I’m sure not want me hooking up with pretty Asians on the high seas. So it was a quick hello, and we’ll see each other tonight for the hypnotist show (hmm… that gives me an idea…) and otherwise, this cruise will continue to have no practical impact on my love life other than it’s keeping me from seeing the current object of my affections.

And no, I can’t tell you much more about her. Just because. :)

Catching up

2007-05-09T22:34:00.000-04:00

Some nice responses to my recent brain dump on the blog and via email.

To clarify re: my comment on an armed and trained population, let me give you where I’m coming from: I’ve spent some time considering the ramifications of the relatively consequence-free society we’ve built. By that I refer to the primary go-to method of ensuring we coexist peacefully is the criminal justice system, and the secondary is the civil courts. It hasn’t always been that way; for most of our existence, behavior was modified in an immediate and often final way for the most serious infractions. Now, we can barely even address the most ancient of offenses against us without involving lawyers. For example, a man sleeps with another man’s wife; the cuckolded husband has no legal recourse in most states, and in fact is disincentivized from taking corrective action due to the legal and financial consequences of HIS actions. Meanwhile there is no negative consequence for the man who snuck in there and engaged in a socially destructive act.

In olden days there were many behaviors that were regulated by fear of direct, immediate reprisal, yet there are no such consequences today. Following the murders in Virginia my thoughts ran towards the benefit of an armed populace to redress the victimization of those who play by the rules by those who are breaking them - those who are being good preyed upon by those who are doing evil. A populace packing weaponry certainly has its drawbacks, but on the plus side would be the deterrence of some extreme antisocial behavior, or at least abbreviating it in the quickest, most direct way possible.

But back to Dan... the rest of my vacation was excellent. I had an amazing time in Palm Desert and then in San Francisco, and came back to NY refreshed and energized. This month at work is a heavy crunch time, and for the next few weeks I’ll be running ragged, though I expect things to lighten up a bit in June. I’m totally not getting enough sleep, but things are getting done and all is well.

Thanks to all who wished me a happy birthday. I'm wicked old now...

A few days off before I head on my cruise for work. I've got some prescription strength seasickness medicine handy, and my tux for those late nights in the casino. More when I get back...

MIA

2007-05-08T22:10:00.000-04:00

For a bit longer...

It's been challenging for me, because there are several things going on in my life these days which are a large part of what I've been up to, but which I can't, or won't write about here... Sorry for being reclusive, but there are things for the public forum, and there are things not for the public forum.

I'm doing great, having a great time. All is very well - a terrific couple of days in San Fran, after a wonderful couple of days in Palm Desert with my cousins. A really good 2 weeks at work, and tomorrow I'm off to an HR conference for a few days. When I get back I'll try and do a wrap-up.

In the meantime...

Brain Dump

2007-04-27T00:14:00.000-04:00

Note to men: it’s either suspenders or a belt. Not both.

It is both counter productive and bad public policy to have words that are either acceptable or catastrophically unacceptable, depending on the race of the speaker.

Military service should be a mandatory 3 year tour between high school and college. Not only will our young people be better prepared, mature, and disciplined when they enter college, with a better developed sense of what they may wish to study, but we’ll also have a highly trained civilian population much more capable of addressing domestic violence and terrorism. I can’t help but think that if the students at Virginia Tech were armed and experienced they wouldn’t have needed to wait for the police to deal with an unbalanced shooter in their midst. Additionally there would be the added benefit of ensuring more people have a vested interest in using our military sparingly and intentionally. Endless, fruitless wars that have little impact at home just don’t provide enough impetus to end conflict.

Poor Britain… Is that our fate? Ever decreasing relevance following a period of extraordinary impact?

TSA found a swiss army knife on a middle aged woman as I was going through security. Though the likelihood of her being a threat was low, she had a knife, and they found it…

How much longer will our elders cling to the old models, the old way of doing things? While Record Execs push through laws to limit ingenuity and change, while politicians cleave to overwhelming force as a tool for change, the world around them has shifted. Polar bears recognize their ice is shrinking, but our leaders don’t.

Speaking of which, did you know that 70% of our kept-bee populations have disappeared? May have something to do with cell phones and electromagnetic fields.... Anyone want a post on how quickly 90% of humanity dies if bees cease their pollination routine?

Barack Obama has an African father and American mother, and is an American citizen. Yet African-Americans haven’t embraced him as “one of their own.”

Live-Blogging Palm Desert

2007-04-21T09:55:00.000-04:00

With less than two hours of sleep I’m off on my first warm-weather vacation in many years. Being preternaturally warm, operating at several thousand degrees Kelvin as my normal body temperature, the last thing I generally consider to be relaxing is someplace hot; I’m the guy that went to Alaska in the winter and found it quite refreshing... None the less I’m on my way to Palm Springs to sit by the pool and wander aimlessly through the palm corridors. Also looking forward to spending a week with my cousins Donna and Ed, whom I don’t see often enough and whose company I enjoy tremendously. They’ve invited me to spend the week with them at their timeshare dealie, and so I’ve temporarily suspended my general rule of hot = bad for Dan.

Perfect timing for a vacation too. Everything has been hectic and fun at work this month. Lots of late nights, lots of early mornings, and non-stop activity for a few weeks now. I’m about half-way through a crash-implementation of a new system, and it’s been a crazy blend of extraordinary over-planning and on the fly decisions. Other projects haven’t stopped while this one has accelerated, and so I’ve been busier than usual, and my usual is so much busier than I’ve been for years. Still getting used to the new level of activity.

To help me out a bit this month I co-opted one of our departmental assistants, initially for a few hours here and there, and now she’s spending whole days at a time taking administrative work off my plate. She’s been doing great and graciously not complaining about the tediousness of some of what I'm asking her to do for me, and I’m hoping I get to keep her permanently once everyone gets used to the idea that there is indeed that much work to do.

Like everyone, I can easily complain about the effort and hours, but no one believes me. I’m smiling from ear to ear as I tell folks how busy I am, and how horrible it is. No one is buying it, I'm clearly having a great time. I really do prefer being busy…. Boundaries give me something to work from, time constraints in particular inspire my best productivity. The busier we get, the more I've been enjoying my work. Though I'm certainly going to enjoy this week off as well.

Continuing to take it easy on the dating front. I've had a few drinks here and there and continue to meet interesting women, but moving slowly and without any particular goal in sight. I've made it through April completely second-date free, and only two or three first dates. Seeing May fast approaching, I consider my dating break over.

I had a drink with someone early last week and we didn't click much at all. She is a self-described “entrepreneur” who has several online businesses going at once. She works for herself, doing her thing and seemed to look down on the 9-5 grind. Meanwhile, that lifestyle of hers is just not for me; I like structure, I like the consistency of expectations, effort, and reward. I think it has to do with how I grew up, and what worked for me and didn’t work for me in my parents' parenting style. In work, in relationships, in life I like to know where I stand, I like to know what’s expected of me, I require clarity. That’s not to say I can’t function in ambiguity -- like a vacation, ambiguity is a fun change of pace --but much like Las Vegas, while ambiguity is fun to spend some time in I wouldn't want to live there. I like my unplanned, boundary free experiences to be fully planned and circumscribed.

There is one new woman that suddenly seems promising, but our schedules make it challenging to spend significant time together; I'm out of town this week, and she's likely out of town next week... so it'll be slow going. But I really enjoy her company, and she gets all fun and cute when we're together, so I'm looking forward to seeing what might happen. She's also got this blog address, so we'll need to come up with a nickname for her...

More to come!

Sit tight...

2007-04-17T21:30:00.000-04:00

Dan has a whole week off next week, and several airplane flights. You know what that means don't you? Yup, live-bloggin!

Spending a few days in Palm Springs by the pool with my cousins and then a few days in San Fran. Plenty of time to catch up on current events, and current Dan-events. Though in fact, Dan-events are thin on the ground... Been staying true to my "not so much dating in April" plan, so no juice for you there. Other than a Passover seder (and freshly-crafted haggadah), a company softball game (made a decent catch in the outfield) and a lot of work, very little going on.

I'll be heading back to Men's Wearhouse again this week. Bets on whether I regret it?

The greatest video since...

2007-04-06T15:59:00.001-04:00

It's clearly the greatest video since this one; I love it when stars don't take themselves too seriously. Especially the normally serious ones...

First, read this.

Then, watch this:

Alanis finally seems to have grasped what "ironic' actually means. Such a simple and clear reminder that substance trumps style any day... I actually like the song when Alanis sings it.

Dating update -

2007-04-04T08:41:00.000-04:00

None!

No dating update, cause I haven't been dating. Honest, I haven't.

After spending nearly a grand on dating in March, I've decided I need to take myself off the market - at least until my tax return comes in. I know many of you will foolishly say things like "let her pay half" (date-suicide and you know it) or do cheaper dates (there's only so many times you can take someone on the Staten Island ferry) but rather than date badly, I'd rather not date at all. I bring the A-game, or don't play; that's just how I roll, yo.

The pool of potential partners is shallow these days anyway, and though I've been thinking about diving back into Jdate, I talk myself out of it each time I get close. It's good being single these days; I really don't have the time to put into a relationship anyway, which is an attitude I have on good authority annoys the crap out of women. I'd hate to end up back in that place again - the "she likes you more than you like her" place that's so familiar to me.

So for those of you living vicariously through my dating life, sorry to disappoint. I'm going to be single and stop dating altogether for a while.

Check in again in May, we'll see what Spring does to this great plan of mine...

Who's minding the store?

2007-04-03T21:08:00.000-04:00

So many things wrong with last week's "MC Rove" performance at the Radio and Correspondents dinner, which made the round of the websites and news shows. The right-leaning outlets all thought it was a fun bit of whimsy, demonstrating Karl Rove's sense of humor and play, while the left... well, the left felt otherwise.

Much of the criticism was based on the "white man rapping" angle, which I personally have no problem with. White men can rap along with the best of them - the talented ones can. However this... this excruciating debacle demonstrates that the list of things Karl Rove lacks include rapping talent as well as a soul.

My concern with this event isn't focused on Rove making a fool of himself, mocking Afro-American culture, joking about his ability to get away with multiple felonies and undermine the laws of the land, or even his modern equivalent of fiddling while Rome burns. Nor is it the otherwise very talented Colin Mochrie making a fool of himself; he's a comedian, and no one expects him to have integrity.

No, what really got me was David Gregory making a fool of himself. The entire premise of the Radio-Correspondents' Association dinner is suspect, and this year's event does nothing to dispel the very real suspicion that the press only wants to get closer to the politicians they are tasked with reporting on.

In what I consider a grievous breach of professional distance, we see David Gregory camping it up along with the criminals that currently administer this great nation of ours. How can we possibly expect David Gregory to be impartial in his reporting when his professional detachment so easily goes out the window; he is clearly deriving such pleasure from his near-orbit with power can we still count on him to report on an event that may jeopardize his relationship with those whose company he covets?

When the history of the early 21st century is written, there will be chapters and chapters on the disgraceful abrogation of responsibility by the press during these past 7 years. As our freedom of speech and assembly are slowly but overtly eroded, freedom of the press is compromised from within, traded away in exchange for access and favors.

My Friday Commute

2007-03-25T19:59:00.000-04:00

Riding on the subway on Friday I'm interrupted in my reading by a youngish woman preaching the gospel, which is annoying at the best of times but before 9am it's just inappropriate. Ignoring her as best I can, I continue reading.

Eventually she completes her religious discrimination couched as free speech and takes the empty seat next to me, pulling a book out of her bag. In the way that one does on a crowded subway, I glance over to see what she's reading as she opens her book, and naturally she does the same to me. She's reading the bible. I'm reading the autobiography of Ron Jeremy.

I've never been prouder of HarperCollins Publishers in my life...

Weekend in Astoria

2007-03-18T22:51:00.001-04:00

I rest satisfied that I have completed a great weekend...

Despite starting with a robust to-do list and a highly scheduled 48 hours, I peruse with pleasure the high contrast black-to-white ratio of that beaten and submissive to-do list, and bask in a weekend well done.

Friday night, the gym and some video game playing. The latter wasn't on the to-do list (I don't often put "goof off" on the list, never really needing to be reminded to make that a part of my day) but that was a value-added bonus accomplishment of Friday night.

Saturday I spent a few hours with my grandparents up in the Bronx. I don't see them often enough, considering I live a mere 20 minutes away, and they are such terrific company. My grandmother is committed to mastering the computer and email, so I spent some time with her on the PC helping get her acclimated, and chatting with them both.

Saturday night I made dinner for an old friend of mine, Stephanie, who is a great friend and mentor from my days at Landmark. We haven't seen much of each other for the past few years, but occasionally we reach out and ensure we reconnect. She's newly single, and we had some fun conversations on that topic, as well as Landmark and others. Then we kissed...

I'm telling you, it's been that kind of month for Dan.

Sunday was spent in the gym in the A.M. I'm finally making some headway in my quest to regain some of my lost physical prowess. Once upon a time, for a brief shining moment back in 1987, I could twelve pull ups. Yup - this guy. twelve times. Last fall I couldn't even do one. As of today, I can do two. My quest is to reach ten again... Why two is so significant is because with pull ups, it's all about inertia. If you can do seven then getting to ten isn't a tremendous leap. But getting through the first three or four is huge, because it takes the most effort to get past the initial hurdle. The increments of the first five are much more significant than the second five, is my point here. And I did two, which is my mighty start. Marvel at the wonder that is Dan.

Basking in the glow of my up-pulling, this afternoon I spent an hour Skyping with the Austrian, who wants to figure out how we can have some kind of long distance relationship, and then this evening I went on a terrific first date with someone brand new. She might not yet know that it was a date, alas. It was terrific none-the-less, but it wasn't really couched as an obvious date, and despite it having all the trappings of a date (Dan is extraordinarily charming, solicitous, gracious, and witty company and he pays for everything, then drives you home) I wouldn't be surprised if in her world it was just two people spending time together.

She's someone I met through work on a business trip. She works at one of the companies I do business with, and in the sociable atmosphere of the Miami conference we crossed paths a few times. It came out that she loves ethnic foods, and Greek food in particular, and so I invited her to come to Astoria for a tour. It took a few weeks to make it happen, but today she took the train out and tour we did.

I put together a nice driving circuit of Astoria that included Little Egypt and a few of its grocery stores, and also the two finest, most Greek-oriented grocery stories on 31st street as well. She seemed to really enjoy these stops, and we had a lot of fun trying to decipher what things were, and how we might use them. Eventually we ended at my favorite Greek restaurant for dinner, and then I drove her back to Manhattan.

Now, in the interests of full disclosure, I had been hoping since Miami to parlay this pleasant afternoon of friendship into a date. I snuck in there under friendly circumstances, since I felt that it would be unwise to gamble on the date angle too abruptly. We barely knew one another, and I couldn't (or wouldn't, whatever) presume too much too soon. My hope was to get the friendly evening under our belt, and then if it all works nicely, I have some date-cred to work with.

Now I *really* hope I can make that happen. This woman is hot stuff. A very bright, engaging, audacious, and very attractive Asian woman (born in Hong Kong, raised in San Francisco) with whom I had no trouble keeping the conversation moving, and interesting. She jumped right into debates on religion and politics, literature, art, wherever it roamed. I liked her style, liked her substance, and left feeling like that she is a woman in full.

There's a whole lot about her I like, and so I plan to try again with a thoroughly sanctioned and official date soon. Assuming of course that she wants any part of that. It was hard to tell. She wasn't playing coy or anything, it was just, you know, hard to tell. One thing I've found is that when you're accustomed to dating actresses, non-actresses are often baffling in their subtlety.

300

2007-03-12T21:30:00.000-04:00

Quick review of 300, which I had been looking forward to for over a month and went to see on Sunday.

After having been horribly scarred back in 1991 by Highlander 2 I have been careful not to let my expectations get too far out of hand when anticipating a new movie; sometimes my expectations are totally exceeded, but more often then not, disappointed! With 300, however - not disappointed at all.

I dug this movie, and it was well-worthy of my $10.50. Was it great, no - but it was a damn good man-movie. Solid acting, great visuals, great choreographed fight scenes. Some decent amounts of blood and gore, but nothing like your standard Tarantino movie, and because it's so stylized, not even particularly shocking. At its core 300 is a movie about men being men, and doing what men have done for ages: standing up for something, protecting our families and our way of life, fighting and dying for one another, and for honor and glory. I don't know of any guy who wouldn't be moved, at least a little bit, by this film. It's no Star Wars, it's no Godfather, Goodfellas, or Lord of the Rings, but it's up there.

Fair warning however, this is not a date movie. For men it's a nice palette-cleanser from all the girlie-relationship pablum that we get dragged to all our lives when, due to having to try and trick women into liking us and thinking we care about Jennifer Aniston, we get dragged (and pay!) to see things like The Breakup. I suspect 300 is not a movie that will speak to women so much; it's overwhelmingly man-oriented. Sara's response after it ended was pure bafflement. "Why did we need to see that?" she asked, perplexed. To which I sensitively responded "That's funny, that's exactly what I said after Steel Magnolias..." 300 is about men, for men, and maybe some women will dig it, but I wouldn't expect too many. Though who knows? There's at least one set of washboard man-abs in nearly every frame, so perhaps it has cross-gender appeal?

In the interest of balanced reporting, there's a lot that wasn't cool about this movie. You need a certain willingness to suspend your 21st century politically correct sensibilities if you're going to fully enjoy it. The few women portrayed in the movie all spend a certain amount of time naked, all the brown and black people are evil, and the chief bad guy is an emo-queen of the fairies, looking like he's just stepped out of a Chelsea men's room after a performance of Midsummer Night's Dream. They even take the opportunity to offend the physically challenged as a particularly distasteful character is a hideously grotesque hunchback. In the world of 300, unless you're a totally buff white guy, you're doomed.

Now, this has a certain amount of historical accuracy to it - if you weren't a buff white guy in 480 B.C. you were indeed in trouble. But that plays more awkwardly these days, and considering how fast and loose the movie plays with historical facts in other areas, you can't defend the choice that way. No, this movie is all about riling up a cowboy patriotism, whipping western men into a testosterone frenzy.

Which is all a part of the movie's master plan. 300, after successfully completing the offensive trifecta of women, people of color, and homosexuals, then zealously goes on to outdo itself with some nice ethnocentric culture-bias. The Greeks, progenitors of a heritage of democracy and reason to which we in the west all claim to be descendents, perform an Alamo-like last stand defending Greece (and the freedom it represents) from the marauding, invading Persians. You remember Persia, right? That was what everyone called Iran not too long ago. One particular line stands out, as the narrator describes the rational Greeks as "standing against the mysticism and tyranny of Persia." I'm not so jaded to say that this was intended to be pro-war propaganda, but it certainly shares a hell of a lot of qualities with pro-war propaganda... That's all I'm saying.

But blah blah blah. Nevertheless, I really dug this movie. As Adriaan said after her saw it, it's "definitely worth seeing twice." I'll likely go see it again at the IMAX in a week or so, to get the whole big-assed screen experience. If you can get over the pejorative characterizations, get over the blood and gore, and just get into manly men doing what they do best - killing stuff - you'll really enjoy it. It looks cool, a spectacular visual display, and well done overall.

Monday

2007-03-12T21:19:00.000-04:00

Well, Sara and I are done. The relationship ended well, with us both laughing about how poorly we were doing as a couple. It was open and honest and light, and ended easily.

Back to being single. Which is just as well; when I look at my March (and April) I really don't have time... I know, you make time for what's a priority in your life, but as I've been told by several ex-girlfriends as they storm out, clearly being in a relationship isn't a priority for me.

Today I found out I was going on a cruise. For work. 3 days in May, at an HR Conference aboard a cruise sheep.

I'm serious..

The Danaissance continues...

2007-03-10T22:21:00.000-05:00

If I do say so myself, I'm tearing things up...

Had a very long date with Sara last weekend. She’s such an interesting character, and she’s fun, but we’re so doomed. We were before, and we are again. And we both know it, and laugh about it. A couple of hours into our marathon 10 hour date last week, we came to a point in the conversation where, for like the sixth time in a row, we realized we had the complete opposite attitudes toward something pretty important. Everything from how I love big dogs and she hates dogs, to how she likes people who are needy and I am not a needy person (and she’s a needy person, and I don’t like needy people), with a number of major and minor issues in between.

After a pause, she just said flatly what I was thinking: we have absolutely nothing in common, this can’t possibly work. To which I started laughing and said “Yup. We’re doomed.” We then spent about a half hour trying to come up with a list of things we agreed upon. It was tough. We came up with only a few, and they were the sorts of things most people would agree on. We tried to get specific, but weren’t able to – so we ended with things like “we both like watching TV" and "we both like pistachio ice cream.” Doomed, I tells ya.

We have another date this Sunday, though lord knows why. Just a few weeks ago I said I’d rather be single than in a doomed relationship, but there’s something oddly fun about it when both of you know it’s doomed; I consider it a happy nihilism – since we’re completely doomed, we may as well enjoy the ride.

While I'm dating Sara I've also been flirting up a storm. You all read about the lady in the green coat, who due to issues with scheduling I haven't had a date with yet, but we email and text a lot, and are having fun chatting on the phone. She's an actress, which totally contravenes my very wise "no more actresses" rule, which was instituted following the collapse of my relationship with Becca, but Katie's so damn cute how can I not? Here's her headshot...

Also last week I had three dates with an Austrian woman I know, who was visiting New York on business. She and I had emailed a few times after having e-met on koolanoo.com (think "MySpace" for Jews) and a few weeks back I got a "hey, I'm coming to New York, take me salsa dancing" email from her. Now, those of you who know me, know that I am not the least bit afraid of dancing. But salsa? Who the hell dances salsa? So off I go to learn some salsa. But not just any salsa, you gotta learn Cuban style, and not New York style.... but I said fuck that, and went to dance manhattan and took a crash course. Four hours of salsa dancing, and I can honestly say that it made very little difference... my feet are still in the wrong place, at the wrong time. Except now I have a sore ass too - fyi, salsa apparently works your fatimus assimus muscles pretty well.

When the time came, I did my best, really I did. We tried to salsa, but I just wasn't capable at all. What can I say, I've been swing dancing for 17 years, and they aren't interchangeable... So I came up with a hybrid kinda thing; I adapted my 8 count swing to the 8 count salsa steps - badly - and was able to get her on the dance floor a bit. But not very well... Thankfully, there was another room in the club playing current pop, and we were able to dance in there. Here's the Austrian taking a picture of herself with her camera phone...

In addition to the dancing, we also went to a Purim party and spent some time at the Austrian Cultural Center, and spent many a late night on the town. She flew home Thursday night, and I have no idea when we'll see one another again. But it was a whirlwind week of dating and I'm exhausted.

And as if that wasn't enough, while all that is going on there's another lady who may just be messing with my head, but if so, she's doing a great job -- cause she's gorgeous, 23, and she seems to want me to ask her out. Perhaps it's just wishful thinking, I'll let you know.

In other news, after a fight with my landlord this past month over whether my right to have heat trumps his right to not give a crap about whether I have heat, I’ve gone and got me one o’ them fancy pre-approvals for a mortgage and plan to start looking for my own place. I don't know where, nor even what sort of home I'd be looking for, but I'm gonna start looking. On one hand, a house would be nice but I’d need to live like 2 hours away to find one I could afford, and since I’m one person do I really need a whole house, while on the other hand a condo in the city would be nice too, but do I really want one of those either? Without much of an attachment to any of it, I shall shortly embark on a look-see to determine what’s out there. Perhaps I’ll get lucky and catch someone about to default on the ARM they foolishly agreed to three years ago…

The winter season is nearly over, and my thoughts are turning to golf. Spending this month taking lessons and learning to play, because I hope to have a nice week of sun and fun the end of April. I'm looking forward to it, as it will be my first non-skiing vacation in years, and my first "someplace hot" vacation in even longer.

Over time, I'm slowly starting to grasp that it's not merely that December, January, February, and March were unusually busy, but that my life is radically different now. That my doing things, dating women, taking classes, staying out late, that all of that is now what my life looks like. And that a night home, like tonight, is the aberration and no longer the norm. I've canceled netflix even, cause who has time to watch movies? I mean, unless you're on a date. Who has time to watch movies that aren't date-related?

/Rant on Airline Travel

2007-03-03T00:54:00.000-05:00

Back in NYC, after another day of flying. I had gone nearly four years without a flight, and I’ve had three round trips in the past 12 weeks. I must say, fair warning, that those of you who don’t yet grasp how to prepare for the security checkpoint, please get a handle on that someplace other than AT THE SECURITY CHECKPOINT.

Dan’s quick tips for flying in a post-9/11, pre-Mission Accomplished world:

How to deal with the security checkpoint.

1. Before you leave, plan your travel outfit. Since your shoes will be coming off while you’re on line with your luggage, shoes that slip on and off easily are recommended. Conversely, big fricking ugly boots - either for men or women - do nothing but illustrate how you have the strategic thinking abilities of a Labrador Retriever puppy.

2. You’ll be going through a metal detector, and as a general rule, those cranky machines prefer it when they don’t detect any metal. Don’t wear clothing that has crazy studs, rings, loops, or full +5 plate mail. Your leather jacket with studs will set the machine off. Staring blankly at the TSA agent, and then saying "but it's only a leather jacket" isn't as clever a response to the metal detector going off as you might think.

3. While you’re still minutes from the metal detector, put any metal (keys, coins, blackberrys, ipods, watches, pens) into your bag or coat. Take off your shoes. Pull your laptop out of your carry-on bag. All this can be done before you get to the bins, so that you can avoid both delaying the entire line, and also the spitting and cursing that I will lower upon you and your house for generations to come because you’re too selfish to get your act together two minutes in advance. We’re all in this together people, and you saving yourself two minutes of carrying you shoes means a two minute delay for an entire line of 100 people. Hands up who sucks when that happens – now look around, yes, it's you.

4. Two bins – one for bag and coat and shoes, one for laptop alone. Please ensure they are actually on the conveyor belt. I love the dumbfucks—I mean customers who just leave their crap on the table, expecting that somehow, magically, their things will appear on the on the side of the x-ray machine. Has that ever happened to you before? Are you aware of other instances when the laws of basic physics were suddenly suspended? If you put something down over here, it won’t suddenly disappear and reappear over there. If that were possible, well we wouldn’t need the airplane then, would we Baby Einstein? Here's an idea - stop, look around, and get a sense of how the world around you is operating. You don't need to be a frequent flyer to grasp how a conveyor belt works. If you've been to a supermarket in the past 35 years, you've likely been exposed to the technology in action.

5. Once through the metal detector, get your crap, and MOVE. Standing at the metal detector while you re-dress yourself, though charming in its total disregard for other people on the planet is actually annoying as hell. If we crash in the Andes, I’m totally eating your self-centered ass first, you selfish fuck.

Finally, a note to airlines: if you would like us not to be upset at your delays and exorbitant prices for water and food which we have no choice but to pay since you ban outside water and no longer serve meals on your flights, at least you can wire the fucking terminal up for electricity. 200 people waiting for a delayed flight, with a sum total of two power outlets. Nice move. Welcome to the 21^st century, we’ve only been traveling with laptops for 10+ years, nice to know you’re on top of things there. I won’t even mention wireless Internet, except to say that you should give us free wireless Internet you cheap bastards.

The first airline to have power available at the seats both in the terminals and on the plane and some free wireless Internet is the airline I will happily patronize. But that would be, you know, obvious and would demonstrate a certain amount of paying attention to the world changing around you. God forbid anyone in authority at the airlines did that; they're all too busy crying to the Federal government that they need a bailout because for some reason fewer people are flying.

/Rant off

Live Blogging LA

2007-03-02T12:43:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago I was the person who flew into Miami the day after the Superbowl, and this week I was the guy who flew to LA the day after the Oscars. Although I could have come in earlier and gone to a studio Oscar party, truthfully, if it aint William Shatner or Julie Andrews, I’m just not that impressed with celebs. Though the trip wasn’t entirely celeb-free; Danny Glover was at the hotel bar Thursday night, looking as leathery as ever.

This has been a terrific, fun, and busy week. For months my coworkers and I have been planning for and working towards a very large conference of all the top HR folks in our organization, and this was the week of glory and passion. It was been hectic, but most importantly a raging success. Several people commented that these were the best, most productive HR days they’ve seen since they joined the company, and while I only had a small part to play in all that, I have a very large part in making things happen going forward. Decisions were made, strategies hatched, actions planned, and since I’m the nuts and bolts make-things-happen guy, now that we know what we want to create, I’m on.

If I haven’t said recently how much I love my job, then please note for the record… There’s a phenomenal window of opportunity for positive change in our company just now, we’ve got the support from the top – and I mean the very top, as the man himself opened up our three day conference – and it’s clear that it’s our time to shine. The sense of opportunity and possibility is palpable, the cooperation and attitude is amazing. We’ve adopted the mantra “of course we can” which is such a charming and exciting change of pace for HR, which still labors under the the old perception of being either a soft, touchy-feely and shallow department, or the other extreme – a cold, record-keeping personnel department. Yet we’re looking at changing the very core of the way the business relates to its employees, the way the various businesses interact with each other and with the corporate office. I know it’s hyperbole, but truly, it’s revolutionary for us. I love being here, at this time, with the role I’m in.

I’ve been keeping myself somewhat low key for the past few months, watching, learning, avoiding putting my foot into my mouth, and not wanting to be too presumptuous, but mostly learning from my coworkers the lay of the land. This week I made a point of not being too showy, too mouthy, and too confrontational… which was hard for me, because there was a French person there. Yet I was cool, and learned what I could from whoever was around. Decisions needed to be made that I had little stake in, and nothing significant to add that wasn’t general and ambiguous. Coming out of the conference, however, we now move into the tactics and away from the strategic thinking, and that’s when the fun for me begins.

And for the record, perhaps I’m just drinking the Kool-Aid, but each interaction I have with the Chairman himself leaves me with more and more respect for him. Case in point – during a break in our program, he was out drinking coffee with everyone else, totally accessible, standing around, chatting. Then early the next morning I’m walking by the main office building on the lot, and I see a car pull into the spot right in front of the door. Sure enough, there he is getting out of the car – drives himself to the office. And early too, it was just after 7. A hearty good morning was met with one in response, and off we go to work. I’m a fan.

Live-Blogging the Oscars

2007-02-25T21:39:00.000-05:00

9:38 pm - Leo and Al Gore just left the stage. Come on - how can you not like that guy? Humor, humility, passion, brilliance... People make fun of him because he says things like he invented the internet, which is silly, but he, along with Bill Clinton, is absolutely directly responsible for the financial atmosphere that supported the explosive growth of the internet and the economic boom of the late 90's. Invented, no - but he can certainly take credit.

10:47 - Bring it. I have never felt so strongly about a candidate, or potential candidate, as I do about Al Gore. I have scores of reasons why he is exactly what the nation, and the world, needs right now, and lucky you - you're gonna get to hear all about em over the next few months... :)

Quick Prediction

2007-02-25T12:47:00.001-05:00

I still haven't gotten around to writing up my Presidential predictions, but before Al Gore sweeps through the Oscars tonight, I'd just like to say - if Inconvenient Truth wins best documentary, he will be able to ride a wave of free publicity through the fall, and enter the race then, with both street cred and money-raising abilities fully intact. If he also wins the Nobel Prize this October, what a resume...

Combine that with a public that will be exhausted by Hillary and Barak slogging through the summer slugging it out, and the ability of the press to finally expose that Obama has little substance and Hilary is just unpleasant on so many levels, Gore can ride in as a White Knight - Anti Bush, whom everyone can get behind.

When things are bad, we like to remember the last time they weren't and try to recreate those circumstances.

Gore 08.

More later...

The Lady in the Green Coat

2007-02-23T21:09:00.000-05:00

Riding home on the N tonight, I looked up from my magazine to catch the eye of a pretty woman in a green coat. She smiles. I smile back. Hmmm... I wonder...

So for the next few minutes, I try to catch her eyes again. Each time, a shy, hesitant smile. Doors open, people come in, the bustle of the car, and I inch closer. She's hanging onto one of the center poles. Now I am too. I catch her looking at my magazine; she catches me looking at her eyes (they match her hair, a deep chestnut). More awkward smiles.

A few more stops before the end of the line. Is she getting off here? No? Ok, great - then go. "Do you have a pen?" I ask her, innocently. She does, and fishes it out for me. Her hands hold my attention, graceful fingers rummaging through her purse. More opportunity to really see her - her neck, long and pale, her ears small and tightly wound, and when she looks up, her smile again, reaching up to her eyes. I quickly jot my cell phone number on a corner of my magazine, and rip it off - putting it into my pocket. I hand her back her pen.

We talk. She's an actress, the Oscars this weekend, the movies she hasn't seen. "Which stop is this?" she asks me. "30th" I reply, "Which stop is yours?"

"Astoria Blvd." That's the next stop. I look into her eyes. and hold her gaze for a second.

"My name is Dan. Here's my number. You should call me. We can take in some of those movies you haven't seen yet."

Her eyes register her surprise. Already I know that her eyes are the key to her, like a poker player's tell - her eyes reveal her whole story. "Oh!" she stammers. "Ok..."

The train slows abruptly, and we shuffle and shift to regain our balance, but she's out of balance. Looking at me. The doors open, and she doesn't move. "Thank you" she stutters out. "Your stop - " I gesture to the door. "Okay..." And she's gone, but she's looking back.

She may not call. She may not care. She may be married. But right now, she's turned on, and so am I. It's been a few years since I felt like that, like I used to feel in college, like I did when I last owned my masculinity, before the slings and arrows of outrageous dating, job, disappointments. It's been years since I put myself out there like that, confident in what I have to offer, knowing that I'm bringing "man" to the party, and what are you bringing?

An hour later my phone rings. Her name is Katie. She wants to get coffee next week...

Dan's back.

Better the second time around?

2007-02-21T22:17:00.001-05:00

I haven't written much about Sara, the woman I was dating while I was dating Amy, except to mention that we had ended things in January after only a few weeks, and that my experience was that of being jerked around a bit. Whether it was due to miscommunication (I know, that's a running theme) or age-differences, or flat-out incompatibility, Sara and I weren't working, and it was a healthy break at the end there.

Until she called me on Valentine's Day when things changed - not because it became unhealthy, but rather because we ended the ending and are back to being again.

I wasn't surprised to see she had called and left a message, as I somewhat expected that we might stay in touch after a suitable time has passed. When I returned her call, I was expecting a friendly "how have you been" conversation. What I got was much more fun -

"I know what you think about how we were together, but here's why you were wrong" was how she started out - or something similar, I'm paraphrasing a bit. She then proceeded to lay out why I had misunderstood or otherwise mistaken her intentions and actions, she told me about how I had baffled and confused her, and how she agreed we weren't so good together, but that we could be, and what did I think of that?

Well now, for those of you who don't know me, there is little that is more likely to impress me than when my lady stands up to me. I know I can be overbearing at times, and I always fear that I might disempower my partner. One of my favorite exes was never more attractive to me then when she was telling me off, because I appreciate the strength and bravery that letting someone have it requires - especially someone with whom I'm in a deeply personal relationship.

So I was impressed, and moved by Sara's reaching out to me to tell me why I was wrong, and I let her know it. And I suggested we get together again but not as a date - we should try to just be together - and see how it goes. I think the "dating" was part of what was messing us up, and she agreed. Then she let me have it some more - what was I willing to do differently this time, what was I willing to commit to, to make it worth her while?

So then we haggled. It was fun, and funny, and absurd, and yet meaningful and deliberate and intentional in a way that I enjoyed. At the end of a two hour call, we had come to an understanding: we would stay connected no matter how uncomfortable things may become - we'd not pull away, hide out, or play small, but rather dig in and get to the heart of whatever happens between us. No sulking, no playing games, no second-guessing... Alright, bring it on, I'm in.

We had our special time together last Monday - a nine hour date, in fact. She came over, we talked, I took her to my favorite neighborhood Greek place, we watched a movie together, and we had a great time together. Was there still some misunderstandings, absolutely. She oftentimes says things that I'm sure she doesn't intend to be off-putting, but are (like "wow, you're so much thinner in this picture!" instead of "this is great picture of you") but I'm sure I do something that annoys her as well. I can't imagine what that could be, but if history teaches us anything - and I think it does - I'm sure I will if I haven't started yet.

So Sara's back in the picture, and who knows what will happen next. She's a quirky one, that Sara is. Next date - Saturday. Of course I'll let you know how it goes...

Lincoln's Birthday Update

2007-02-12T23:03:00.001-05:00

Taurus
April 19 - May 19
Changes in your working environment could result in a rise in your income, dear Taurus. You've been working very hard in order to advance yourself in this regard, and are likely to continue to do so indefinitely. Your natural communications skills continue to serve you well, and your physical energy is likely to be stronger than it has been for a long time. The only downside: very little time to yourself! Hang in there!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes my horoscope nails it.

Okay, first of all, Monday night TV is the fricking greatest. If you're not watching Heroes and Studio 60, I don't even know what to say to you. That's like saying you don't want to eat an entire pizza; I understand the words themselves, but they don't make any sense.

I have to say I didn't expect Nathan to be Claire's dad! That was a total no-way moment last week. This week's whole deal with Jessica and the cop and everything - sweeeeeet.

In other non-sequitur news, this looks frickin' AWESOME. How much can't I wait for March 9th when this bad-boy opens? Oh my ass, this movie looks so amazing...

And how was Miami? It was great. A wonderful conference, though the weather - not so much. It finally got warm the very last day I was there, and I ended up with about an hour by the pool in the sun before heading out to the airport.

What? This isn't the news you're looking for? You were expecting maybe an update on the Amy situation? Yeah, I bet you are...

Ironic the way life takes different directions. Less than three weeks ago I was faced with a particularly vexing problem: I was dating two women, and perplexed at how I would handle their respective Valentine's Day expectations. Two days prior to the big day, however, I find myself completely free for the Hallmark Holiday.

Yup, it will come as no surprise to some of you that Amy and I split up. Last week. And I fully expect to hear about how my expectations are unrealistic, and how I can't handle women as they actually are, due to my issues with how I want them to be. Blah blah blah... While all that's valid, and certainly the one thing all my failed relationships have in common is me, I wonder why it's so revolutionary that I don't want to settle for merely ok? What's with all the enthusiasm for me to get over my desire to find a truly excellent match?

Here's my angle - I'm very happy being single. I've always said I'd rather be single than annoyed, but that's only the first of several "I'd rather be single than" statements I can rattle off. I've got a terrific life, great family, wonderful friends. I've got a job I love that's demanding and wonderful. I make a great salary, and I've got no one other than Visa I need to answer to. So if I'm going to choose to be with someone, to willingly take on the responsibilities of being a partner to someone, it will be because someone truly special has reached me in some truly special way.

It'll be for a person who provides something terrific, a person who brings something to me and my life that I'm missing, and for whom I can do the same. In short, she's got to have the qualities and personality that I'm willing to exchange my autonomy for. And if she doesn't, or if she doesn't in a way that suits me, then why is it so surprising that I'd want to move on?

That being said, let me be clear - Amy was wonderful on many levels and I'd recommend her to any of the single guys in my life. Becca was pretty impressive as well, as were many of my exes - that's why, save for one or two, I still count amongst my friends a significant number of those significant others. Some of my favorite people are my exes; they weren't bad or wrong - they just weren't the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life committed to.

I had to look closely at that last week, and unfortunately so did Amy. In addition to the minor misunderstanding we had two weeks ago, we had another just like it last week. At the root of our trouble was her assertion that I wasn't overly interested in her. She said "I have your complete attention when we're together, but when we're not, I have this feeling that you could take me or leave me." And I had to admit that was true. Amy was great, and I enjoyed her company immensely, but I didn't crave it. I didn't require it, and I wasn't looking for opportunities to augment it. When we had a free weekend, my idea wasn't to spend the that time together, and when I had someone cancel for dinner, I wasn't calling her to see if she was free.

So we broke up. That's what two people should do in that situation, no? We were doing fine, but I didn't think it would grow or deepen. I considered the possibility that at some point in the future I would feel more strongly about her, and weighed that against our ages and the likelihood that I so drastically misunderstand myself that what I feel at 3+ months won't be indicative of what I'll feel later on. Could I be wrong? Of course I could be. But the alternative is a tepid relationship, and I'd rather be single than in a tepid relationship.

So go ahead - flame me. Tell me all about how unrealistic my expectations are, tell me about how I should be just fine having a relationship that's just fine. Or tell me how it's all my fault, which may or may not be true, but doesn't improve how I feel about her or us. Or do as Michael does, and congratulate me for reaching my monthly quota of making some single woman cry (cruel, Michael, very cruel).

At the end of the day, I need to be able to look into her eyes and tell her that I love her, and mean it. And if I can't do that, the reasons why not aren't nearly as important as the hypocrisy of pretending otherwise. As far as I'm concerned, every relationship but the last one will end, so why should it be so shocking when one does? Isn't it much more startling when one doesn't?

I'm single again rather than in a doomed relationship. And that's yet another thing I'd rather be single than...

Live-blogging Miami

2007-02-05T15:24:00.000-05:00

Yes, I'm the guy the flies to Miami the day AFTER the superbowl...

First time here... reminds me a great deal of LA - palm trees, a large hispanic population, and a lot of pink and pastel colors... Weather's actually somewhat chilly and cloudy, all that rain you saw last night on CBS has left the area cool and windy. I'm hoping to bust out my thong and hit the beach at some point, but I may not be able to if it doesn't warm up. That would be a tragedy for everyone nearby.

So many fun responses to my last post. Apparently you all expect me to be impartial or something... or at least some of you do. I have no idea why you would expect me to do something as unnatural as that. I've got skin in the game, people, and I've got certain expectations as well. One of them, and a modest one, is that I expect people to communicate with me as well as I like to think I communicate with them. Apparently many of you believe that may be unrealistic of me, but I won't pander to the lowest common denominator.

I recently broke up with a woman I was seeing because she was playing games - I'd grow interested, she'd grow remote. I'd back off, she won't leave me alone. I start paying more attention to her, she'd get distant again. I'm 37, and even when I was 27 I didn't like messing around with crap like that. I don't ask too much from a partner, but don't fuck with me, ok? You like me, terrific. You don't, I'm fine with that too. But I've always said I'd rather be single than annoyed, and though that's kept me single, I'm an optimist at heart.

So ya, I was pretty annoyed at being held to expectations that Amy wasn't holding herself to. And I happen to have a blog to vent through, so lucky me. And lucky you!

How Quick Bright Things Come to Confusion

2007-02-01T22:26:00.001-05:00

Apparently sometime last Monday night during a lovely evening with my current ladyfriend Amy, we had one those conversations that make trouble between men and women.

Not a conversation about whether something makes her look fat, or whether someone is prettier than she is, actually I've never gotten burned by those stereotypical Hollywood examples of male blundering. No, this time is was one of those conversations that mean one thing to a man, and another to a woman -- or to be more specific, that meant one thing to Dan, and another thing to Amy. I refer to the plans which she felt we made, and I felt we merely discussed, regarding this Thursday night. Plans which I promptly forgot about and which she coldly reminded me of when I -- thinking I was being a terrific gentlemen -- just called her late Thursday night out of the blue to say hello.

"So whatcha up to?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"No? No plans for tonight?" I reply, still blissfully unaware of the danger before me.

"I thought *we* had plans" she returns.

This was met with silence from Dan, who's furiously rewinding his mental videotape back through our earlier exchanges.

"We did?"

The only plans I knew of for Thursday were drinks after work with my volleyball team, a lovely fun few hours from which I was heading home when I decided to call.

"Ya, drinks with your volleyball team, and then I was going to stay over."

More silence from Dan...

Let me jump ahead for you, so we can get to the heart of the matter. At some point on Monday, likely just before or just after we engaged in a particularly lusty reunion after having not seen one another for about a week, I suggested that she join me on Thursday evening, then come back to my place so that she can leave from here for her flight from LaGuardia Friday morning. I do now recall that conversation - I don't deny the facts of the case. The ambiguity comes afterward. Did we, or did we not "make plans."

I am of the opinion that we did not. We talked of it, certainly, but concrete plans were not made. We merely discussed it as an option that was available to her, should she wish it. She is of course of the opinion that we did.

Here is my evidence that she in fact knew that they weren't concrete:

From Tuesday afternoon, when we had our last email, to tonight, when I discovered the error of my ways, we hadn't had any contact - no emails, no calls, nothing. This is not the behavior of two people who have plans with one another.

If she fully expected that we were doing this thing which she felt we had committed to do, and we hadn't been in touch for nearly 48 hours, why didn't she call or email me? I mean, clearly she was waiting for me to call or email her, and I didn't, that's why she's upset with me now. Thursday rolled on, yet no contact from Dan. She feels I blew her off, and I don't think that's fair.

A person who has plans they care about with another person takes responsibility for making what they want to happen, happen. When two people have plans for which they have not gotten specific, don't they get in touch to finalize them? I contend that she was more interested in proving her point than she was in our plans, because if she really just wanted to see me and had no agenda, she would have contacted me.

Much like when I got blindsided after my ski trip, I think she spent the entire afternoon looking for evidence that I had forgotten about her, that I wasn't thinking about her, that ultimately I didn't care about her. Evidence which I of course provided, by not calling her sooner and not remembering our plans. A more accurate way to interpret my behavior would have been to assume that Dan had either forgotten, or didn't realize we had made an actual, committed date, but that wasn't where she decided to take the train of thought.

Had she been gracious in that way, and contacted me today, we might have had a friendly conversation that would have gone something like "Oh ya, you want to come tonight? Terrific - let's meet at 6:00. Yup, I totally forgot, but I'm glad you called."

Instead, we have a disappointed, frustrated, and angry Amy, and a frustrated, disappointed Dan. Amy gets to be right about how wrong Dan is, and Dan gets to enjoy knowing that a woman he likes will spend the next week or so thinking about how he let her down. Wow, everybody wins in that scenario. Congratulations!

How did it happen that there is 100% responsibility on my part to know what she's thinking, and zero responsibility on her part to know what I'm thinking?

Had she checked in with me, rather than whatever story she's making up that was confirmed by my failure to call, she would have learned that it was just a misunderstanding which doesn't mean anything other than at the time we were discussing it - which is not the best time to have a fellow's full attention in the first place - I felt it was left ambiguously.

I feel that today she was more interested in nailing me than she was in being gracious and great with me. Had she been, we would have enjoyed a lovely night together but instead she's going away mad, and I'm going away feeling like I've disappointed her tremendously.

Have I ever mentioned that the quickest way to get a man to bolt from a relationship is the feeling that he has disappointed you?

When you help your partner win, you both win. But Amy wasn't interested in helping me win with her - she was interested in being right about however it was that I was wrong. She was proving a point, otherwise she would have checked in with me, and now she thinks her point is proven. I believe this was a poor method of determining what I am thinking, because not only is everyone left upset, but whatever conclusions she's drawing from this experience are not accurate.

It's been my dating experience that women often eschew the simplest and most effective method of determining what the men in their life are thinking:

Just ask them.

Nothing new until next weekend, I think...

2007-01-28T20:21:00.000-05:00

Itching to write a post about Hillary's entrance into the race, Kerry's departure, Obama, and Gore's Oscar nomination... but it will have to wait. Next weekend...

In the meantime, here's a painting you should like.

Fishers of Men, Indeed

2007-01-21T08:37:00.000-05:00

In case you missed it while some other things were going on in the world, once again the religious right is having a fit over something that ultimately ranks pretty low on the list of things that matter.

From the Dakota Voice -

The Christian fish symbol is an ancient and sacred symbol for the persecuted Christians in the 1st century, as well as contemporary believers in Christ. But that symbol which showed that Christians identified with each other in their obedience to follow Christ is taking on a whole new meaning. The Catholic Archdiocese of Los Angeles, as one of their ministries, ‘Ministry with Lesbians and Gay Catholics’ decided to make the sacred fish symbol into a rainbow fish symbol pin... The Catholic Church thus teaches: "Basing itself on sacred Scripture, homosexual acts are acts of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.” (Read More)

Genius! I love this story. There are so many things that are excellent about it, allow me to take you on a tour:

Jesus rebels against staid, corrupt and sinful religious authorities; promotes inclusive, progressive faith that encourages debate and dissent.
Christians are persecuted for deviating from the acceptable status quo and they adopt/co-opt a symbol from the Greeks and use it to identify one another in a hostile environment.
Gays at the time, enjoying a permissive society.

Fast-forward 2000 years...

Evangelical Christians support a staid, corrupt and sinful religious authority.
Gays are persecuted for deviating from the acceptable status quo and they adopt/co-opt a symbol from the Christians and use it to identify one another in a hostile environment.
Evangelical Christians, meanwhile, are enjoying a far too permissive society.

What is it with the Catholic church and copyright infringement? "That's our fish, you can't use it, and marriage is our word, you can't change what it means!" But I digress...

The many ironic reversals aren't the only part that's excellent, however. The particular fish imagery they're fighting over, the one that was adopted from the Greeks, was known as the Vesica Pisces and was a powerful pagan image representing the Goddess Aphrodite and particularly her genitalia.

Yup. That's right. The evangelicals are upset that the gays are co-opting their pagan vagina imagery. This stuff almost writes itself.

And is there anything better than gay Christians reminding their co-religionists of what it means to be an old-school Christian? The fish symbol is once again the symbol of a persecuted minority struggling to achieve an equal opportunity to practice their faith and live their lives as they best see fit.

You'd think Christians would appreciate the irony, but apparently not so much...

State of the Dan Address

2007-01-20T19:49:00.001-05:00

You're probably all getting a little tired of hearing how busy I am, I realize that. And yes, it's no excuse for not fulfilling my self-inflicted responsibilities as a blogger - I'm derelict and I know it.

It's such an interesting change of pace for me, a whole different life than the one I've lived for a few years... For so long I used my dog as a welcome excuse to not do things in the city, to avoid meeting people (other than while walking the dog) and generally hibernate. Wasn't Zeke's fault, I wanted to hibernate and he allowed me to get away with it. Also, for a solid year there I was involved in a relationship that for at least half the year wasn't particularly solid, and for the last few months miserable, and that also encouraged me to just come home, put my head into video games or movies or whatever, and avoid the unpleasantness around me. And I had a terrific job I really didn't like so much at the end there, and that too contributed to the general malaise of my life over the past three years.

And then suddenly, radical redefinition. I've always been a huge fan of big changes, of fresh starts and tabulah rasas (rasai?). The events of last summer, as difficult as they were for me, opened up a brave new world and I'm taking full advantage of it.

Which, I'd like to add, can be frickin' exhausting. I'm out almost every night of the week these days, and this is my first weekend where I haven't been traveling since early December. There's got to be a happy medium somewhere between nothing and everything, no?

My life is firing on all cylinders at the moment, and it's hard to keep up sometimes. My job is terrific, I just love it. It's hectic, crazy, frustrating, absurd, and excellent all at the same time. I was invited to take part in a very significant project that is otherwise comprised of the highest and mightiest at my company, and though I was invited specifically to be the one taking the minutes, even the lowest man on the totempole can take pride at making it onto the pole at all. (Insert man-pole joke here). I'm traveling twice in February for work, to Miami and LA, and I'm starting to branch out into other projects. My fingers are all over a number of different initiatives, and I'm digging all of it. I'm even starting to think about taking classes again - either getting my PMP or perhaps even... yup - law school. Evening classes maybe, for a few years? I don't know, just thinking...

And the love life? Working. I'm still with Amy, who frequent readers will remember I began dating in November. We just had our first weekend away, and though it was originally not intended to be a romantic sort of weekend away it turned into one rather nicely. Most importantly, we spent nearly 24 hours in the car over a short period of time, and I still like her as much as I did beforehand, which I think is something. We're still pretty low-key about everything, but clearly moving forward. She's easy to be with, makes jokes that I laugh at, and most importantly laughs at mine. We have fun conversations, and did I mention she's low key? I can't possibly stress how nice a change of pace it is to try that out for size, after experiencing higher maintenance relationships for the past few years.

That's not to say she won't be bringing the crazy at some point in the future, but at the least she's done a great job sparing me from crazy so far. Mostly, anyway. And yes, I suppose it's misogynistic to presume that all women have crazy in them just bubbling below the surface, waiting to spray all over some poor unsuspecting man, but I'm afraid that it's accurate none the less. You can accuse me of misogyny all you like, but not libel, and you all know it.

I also got my first skiing of the year in, finally. Amy and I headed up to Tremblant, and though we had to go 500 miles north to find snow, find it we did and it was glorious. Truly one of the most beautiful, perfect days for skiing I've seen, and the mountain was in great shape. I overskied and was sore all week, but it was that wonderful sore that reminds you of a job well done. I skied the crap out of Tremblant last weekend, and can't wait to get back.

So that's what's shaking with Dan. Back to your regularly scheduled political ranting...

Gigging the system

2007-01-17T08:11:00.000-05:00

Should intentionally being a prick be against the law?

Woman settles case over flour-filled condoms
PHILADELPHIA (Reuters Life!) - A U.S. college student imprisoned for three weeks for trying to take flour-filled condoms onto an airplane has settled her lawsuit against Philadelphia for $180,000, a city spokesman said on Friday.
Janet Lee, 21, a student at Bryn Mawr College in Pennsylvania, was arrested at Philadelphia International Airport in 2003 after police and security officials thought the flour was an illegal drug.
She was held in Philadelphia on drug-trafficking charges and released only when tests proved the substance in the three condoms was flour.
The condoms, which are sometimes used to smuggle drugs, were a joke among the students, and Lee was taking them home to Los Angeles.
Her civil rights case against Philadelphia, which had been set to go to trial on Thursday, was settled for $180,000, said Ted Qualli, spokesman for Philadelphia Mayor John Street.

When I was a kid I played a lot of Dungeons and Dragons. While I'm sure you'd all love to hear more about that, and how cool we all were back then, I mention it specifically to bring up the idea of intentionally causing chaos.

In Dungeons and Dragons your characters would choose an alignment, which represented their moral and ethical standards. In addition to the general good vs. evil, there was also the concept of lawful vs. chaotic. Lawful folks recognized the need for order and used order to their own ends while chaotic folks felt differently; they leaned towards anarchy as the surest route to freedom, and bristled against the rules and regulations of an orderly and structured society.

It was a fun game, and in my youth it was fun to be intentionally chaotic within the confines of the game, just like it was fun to pretend to be a wizard, or how it's fun today to dress up in your elf costume and watch all three of the Lord of the Rings extended edition DVDs over and over and over... But in reality, in our civilization, chaos just doesn't work.

Our history as a species, our civilized evolution is marked by the slow and steady march from chaos to order. We organize into families, into tribes, into societies, and establish laws and standards and ethics and social contracts. We co-exist because we all have a reasonable expectation of each other's behaviors, and it's only the exceptions that make news. Our society functions because we all agree, tacitly or implicitly, to adhere to certain guidelines. Order brings safety, and safety brings prosperity.

So what should be the punishment for an adult who intentionally increases the chaos in the world? As a very good friend commented recently, is that not the surest definition of evil?

Why we need Gore more than ever...

2007-01-16T21:53:00.000-05:00

A few years back, pre-blog, I read about the Grand Canyon gift store and how it sold a book in its natural sciences section that claimed the canyon was created during the biblical flood. (Read here)

This time around, when evangelical Christian "science" finds its ways into our public institutions, I happen to have a blog and can at least draw your attention to the increasingly rapid erosion of the separation of church and state.

An Inconvenient Truth called "too controversial"
After a parent who supports the teaching of creationism and opposes sex education complained about the film, the Federal Way School Board on Tuesday placed what it labeled a moratorium on showing the film...
Read More

Skin crawling...

But then I read something like this, and I have hope.

More dead birds

2007-01-12T07:59:00.000-05:00

And I don't mean the tasty fried kind. These are dropping from the skies in Australia...

Mystery as thousands of birds fall from sky

Thousands of birds have fallen from the skies over Esperance and no one knows why. Is it an illness, toxins or a natural phenomenon? A string of autopsies in Perth have shed no light on the mystery. All the residents of flood-devastated Esperance know is that their "dawn chorus" of singing birds is missing.

Read more here.

You'd think a worldwide phenomena of birds dying for no reason at all would elicit more notice, no?

Conspiracy Theory du Jour

2007-01-11T07:32:00.000-05:00

Frequent readers of this blog will know that I am somewhat susceptible to the many different worst case scenarios out there, anything from 9/11 being an inside job to the reasons why we're building internment camps in the American west - brought to you by Halliburton, of course.

Fortunately I'm also an optimist, so while I'm quite concerned about the insidious direction our country is taking, I'm also pretty sure things'll work out in the end.

This week's dark and devious plot by the Republicans to screw us out of justice goes like this - at some point relatively soon Cheney resigns due to health problems. GWB nominates Condi Rice to replace Cheney, and she sails through the confirmation hearings and is sworn in. As a great thank you to Dick Cheney for his years of service, GWB grants him a Nixon-style full pardon for all crimes he ever committed ever even in his imagination.

Then as we get closer to the elections and GWB becomes more and more of a liability to the Republican ticket, which is now suddenly sporting Condi Rice as the front runner, GWB gets sick or otherwise resigns as well. Suddenly there's our first African American president AND our first woman president at the same time, and the Republicans are suddenly the party of inclusion. What a coup, stealing that plum from the Democrats!

Inevitably our new President Rice will pardon GWB as well. But not until after she's elected in her own right, that's of course part of the deal - if the GOP doesn't get her the Oval Office, they won't get their subpoena-proof "get out of jail free" card.

And then 8 more years! 8 more years! But only for evangelical Christians. The rest of us will be in Camp Halliburton long before then. First they'll come for the Muslims, and we'll do nothing, because we aren't Muslim...

Will someone please think of the canaries?

2007-01-10T07:51:00.000-05:00

One of the most dangerous aspects of the many extraordinarily dangerous aspects of mining is the pervasive risk of deadly gas in the highly confined spaces underground. Pockets of methane and carbon monoxide, both odorless, colorless gases, were occasionally encountered by the miners as they dug deeper and deeper and the only way a person might know they were in danger was through the use of a simple early warning system - the common yellow canary. Before the gas became deadly to humans, it would knock the poor canary on its ass, alerting the miners to their emergency. Though low-tech, this live-saving (for everyone but the canary) method was in use until as recently as 1986.

With that in mind, does this bother anyone else?

Downtown Austin reopens after dead birds found
AUSTIN — More than 10 blocks of downtown along Congress Avenue reopened this afternoon after police said the area where 63 grackles, sparrows and pigeons were found dead and sickened posed no danger to people.

(Link)

Meanwhile, in other possibly gas-related news, the foul gas-like odor that hung over New York yesterday still lacks a confirmed source, and speculation abounds. The most alarmist entails new terrorist plots, either successful in an as yet undetermined fashion, or unsuccessful because, well, we're still alive.

Yet there are sources of gas release that are known, and I find even more likely. Beginning in the lovely harbor nestled between New York and New Jersey and extending four hundred miles into the Atlantic Ocean is the Hudson Submarine Canyon, and I'm pointing my as yet un-pulled finger there.

Why might this be the source of the foul odor? With rising temperatures, trapped methane is escaping from the ocean floor in much greater amounts than we are accustomed to. So much so, that according to the US maritime industry sources oil tankers are reporting their on board methane sensors are going off despite no leaks in their cargo holds, because the sensors are detecting ambient methane being released from the ocean seabed.

Methane is odorless so it wouldn't be directly responsible for the stank that New York City and Jersey City experienced Monday, but when the methane starts bubbling up to the surface it is often accompanied by hydrogen sulfide, a byproduct of the bacterial decomposition that occurs on the ocean floor. And the Hudson Submarine Channel would be particularly susceptible to extra-stinky decomposition, as many speculate it is still covered with the sludge and trash of several centuries of the inhabitants of New York City dumping their garbage and sewage directly into the harbor.

Not normally one to be particularly upset by the odors of New York urban living, this methane release hypothesis is concerning because methane has twenty-times the heat-trapping effect of carbon dioxide, and is the second most responsible gas contributing to global warming. If we're venting enough methane to stinkify our entire metro-area, we're venting some serious methane. And the more methane we release, the more the world warms, and the more the world warms, the more methane is released from the ocean floor and from the melting permafrost...

The sheer volume of near-surface methane that could rapidly be released into the atmosphere would have an impact similar to that seen when someone throws gasoline on an already warm fire, dramatically hastening the climate changes we're most worried about. And while I'm just a short hairy Jew writing a self-indulgent blog, unusual gassy smells around New York (and also California) and birds falling dead out of the sky in Austin appear to me to be somewhat portentous.

I'm just saying....

I love this story

2007-01-09T08:52:00.000-05:00

I love this... From Eleanor Clift at Newsweek. (Link)

Around The House We Call Chelsea "46"
Democrats in Washington have found a subtle new way to annoy Republicans: Every chance they get, they're starting to refer to Bill Clinton as "42." The idea is clear enough--that Hillary Clinton will be "44," a wink at the way the Bushes have long referred to George H.W. as "41" and W. as "43." The new Clinton nickname is spreading "like a wave," says Democratic strategist Mark Siegel, who says he casually drops the reference into conversations with Republicans and then waits for the reaction. Usually, he says, it's a blank stare. "Then a look of understanding, and then a look of anger." Makes us crack up every time. And people say Washington doesn't have a sense of humor.

Whoever smelt it, dealt it

2007-01-08T19:42:00.000-05:00

As I entered the office today at Rockefeller Center, there was a distinct odor of natural gas in the air. By the time I was at my desk, I was hearing that the Concourse as well as other buildings in the complex were also filled with the smell. For a brief period of time we were concerned about a gas leak under us, and were considering evacuating, when a quick check of the internet informed us that it wasn't just Rock Center, but that much of Manhattan was suffering under the same fog.

Knowing the gas wasn't internal to the building it was immediately apparent to me that being inside was vastly superior to being outside, as the gas - or whatever it happened to be - was coming in from the outside. This insight was lost on many of my co-workers however, who given permission to leave "if they felt they needed to" promptly left. Some went home, and many just wanted to get out of the building into the fresh air, because there were parts of the building that the gas odor was oppressive.

The irony, of course, is that many of them went outside for fresh air and immediately lit up cigarettes. The added double-plus irony being that lighting cigarettes as a stress-response to a gas leak is an ill-considered strategy at best.

It wasn't long before folks were attributing the smell to a gas leak in Jersey City. However that was followed shortly by the mayor of Jersey City stating that it was a leak emanating from Chelsea. I checked the New York City Office of Emergency Management website a good 90 minutes after the leak began being reported on the major news outlets, to be met with wonderful suggestions for a healthy and safe New Year's eve, and some suggested New Year's resolutions. Nice to know they're on top of things.

It was interesting to see the impact of post-9/11 thinking on building management. As a duly deputized representative of "the man" I was in on several of the discussions happening at a high level regarding whether we should send employees home or no. Following the horribly ill-fated decisions made in the World Trade Center, no one wants to be responsible for making that particular call one way or the other. On the one hand if we keep everyone inside, we all know what happens if something goes horribly wrong. On the other hand it's very well understood that except for the recent notable exception, it's nearly always better for people to stay put during an office building emergency than to wander aimlessly outside.

Today we were much better off inside the building with the ventilators off than outside sucking down whatever was in the air. And sending folks home downtown or perhaps to Jersey City if the leak was actually coming from either location would have been an even poorer plan. But knowing what we know now, who can make that decision for another person? So responsibility is abrogated and you get "go if you feel you need to" instead. In our post-9/11 urban experience no guidance is better than incorrect guidance, and so we'll leave it to employees to make the best decision for themselves. So some did leave, and some didn't, as they best saw fit.

There's no moral of the story. It's just one of those things we deal with now.

Steers and Queers

2007-01-05T09:19:00.000-05:00

Doing a terrific job helping to put to rest the idea that homosexuality is merely a sinful choice of humans, an exhibition at the Natural History Museum of Oslo, Norway addresses the prevalence of homosexuality in the animal kingdom. And we're not talking dogs humping for dominance, we're talking hardcore giraffe on giraffe action.

"There are things that are more contrary to nature than homosexuality, things humans alone do — such as having religion or sleeping in pyjamas."

- Magnus Enquist, Stockholm University

Check it out. It's a great read.

Saddam Hussein has been executed

2006-12-30T09:01:00.000-05:00

According to several Arabic news sources.

So what's the over-under on when it shows up on Youtube? An ironic twist, no? This time it'll be us who get to watch the execution of an Islamic terrorist...

Expect to hear all sorts of scholarly pontificating and hand wringing from the old world on the subject of whether executions should be broadcast, what images if any should be shown via the mainstream media outlets, what impact this will have on our children, etc... meanwhile, the entire thing, uncensored, will be available for download within a week or so.

Tomorrow Begins Today... Great Start for Edwards

2006-12-29T16:32:00.000-05:00

John Edwards, up to his knees in the still ravaged 9^th Ward of New Orleans, set the tone for the coming Presidential campaign with what I believe was a smart and effective message. Though I don’t think highly of his chances, he’s done us all a great service by so intelligently framing the debate early, powerfully, and nobly.

Eschewing the standard trappings of a campaign announcement, Edward’s message -- which is essentially to get off your ass and DO something -- was instead delivered while he was off his ass doing something in New Orleans. His call to action, reminiscent of Kennedy’s inaugural request to ask not what your country can do for you, stands in stark contrast to the removed, out of touch Imperial Presidency of GWB. While Bush has asked you to work harder and sacrifice so he can spend your money as he best saw fit, Edwards, with youthful energy and enthusiasm, in blue jeans and with sleeves rolled up rather than in a fancy suit behind a podium, was instead a man of the people who was offering to work for them, and alongside them.

Edward’s “Tomorrow Begins Today” campaign website states that he’s in favor of universal health care, strengthening the middle class, leading the fight against global warming while reducing our dependency on oil, and providing moral leadership for the world. Specifically, he states that we cannot wait until the next President is sworn in two years from now, but we must start today. I think he very wisely gauged the national disdain for the narcissistic personality cult that politics has become in recent years. By redefining leadership as matching action with belief, and by reaching out directly to the voters and skipping the mainstream media circuses of more traditional campaign announcements, Edwards has aligned himself with the public’s perception of what kind of leader will best succeed where Bush has failed.

I consider this a brilliant strategy as it makes use of the vast and roiling resentment many Americans feel toward the current occupant of the White House today, not waiting until November of 2008. His “change starts now” approach, whether that change is for Edwards or for someone else, suddenly offers an outlet toward instant gratification and will resonate with the more than 60% of Americans who don’t presently approve of Bush.

Edwards has begun the effort to channel our national anger – and the predictable almost certain anger to come over the next two years – and will require that the Republicans respond and defend all that they haven’t done as well as what they have done poorly. For instance, it will no longer be enough for Republicans to defend the choice to go to Iraq by saying “You voted too!” as they did in 2004. Edwards rallies the “what have you done for me lately” crowd, much to the detriment of the GOP who have very few laurels on which to rest.

The 2008 campaign is now about something more than us vs. them, or the even more nebulous good vs. evil. Now it’s about action vs. inaction, and that’s a hell of a concrete foundation for the Democrats, who have been so harshly accused of having nothing new to offer for so long.

This stance has the additional benefit of wresting the moral authority from the far-right Republicans. Whereas the GOP had successfully positioned themselves as the more righteous of the two parties while discussing abortion and homosexuality, Edwards has begun changing the moral axis on which the conversation will revolve. Rather than the prurient sexuality of the liberal left, which the righteous right themselves nullified with their own deviant displays, instead we’ll be talking about the idleness and wicked ways of the do-nothing 109^th congress and the inability to take effective action in Iraq and New Orleans, and against the more and more obvious reality of global warming. Edward’s opening shot has begun re-framing the morality issue in favor of change, with a new model: the vibrant, vigorous Democrats who stand opposed to the feeble, paralyzed Republicans; diligence, humility, and forbearance vs. sloth, gluttony, and the sin of pride. Now those are some moral issues I can get behind.

In every contest where there is only one winner there are still many roles to play, and several candidates may do great service to their party and the nation in their unsuccessful bids for the Democratic nomination. I believe Edwards is one of those candidates who will be remembered fondly and highly appreciated though he will ultimately not be our President-Elect in 2008. Yet none the less Edward’s early efforts will play an important role in setting our national expectation of what qualities our next leader should possess. For the Democrats it is a great start, and well begun is half done, as some famous dead white man once said.

Two things only the people anxiously desire...

2006-12-29T16:06:00.000-05:00

Depending on whom you listen to, Saddam Hussein is scheduled to hang either this weekend or next month.

While it’s been said that his execution would make a brilliant comeback for CBS, who will finally return to the airwaves with a Superbowl halftime show three years after uncovering Janet Jackson’s weapon of mass destruction, I suspect that the timing may have more to do with this year’s State of the Union address...

End of year wrap-up

2006-12-29T16:05:00.001-05:00

The past two weeks have been great. Though as a ski trip, my holiday to Ontario was a total bust (thank you, global warming) it was never the less a nice, relaxing break. And this week at work has been quiet and charming, leaving me with a sense of calm for the first time since June, really. The dating life proceeds apace, with ups and downs, but more up than down. And I’ve managed to make it through another Christmas season without ending up in jail for strangling one of the many – MANY – people who just cried out for a good strangling over the past few weeks. There is nothing like the Christmas season to inspire people to be the exact type of annoying that goes furthest right up my ass, and truly I expect one year to just snap. But not this year my friends… not this year.

Ontario was a lovely summer wonderland, where I biked and hiked and rode horseback in jeans and t-shirt, just like it was a lovely September day. Except it wasn’t. It was the end of December, the longest day of the year, and it was supposed to be cold and snowy. I knew I was taking a risk planning a trip early in the season, but I thought the distance north would mitigate that danger, while I also counted on our powerful modern snow making abilities. A strategic gamble.

As I left the airport and saw there was no snow on the ground, I wasn’t worried, because I knew I was heading up to the mountains where there was sure to be plenty. But an hour later as I approached the bare, brown mountains, I knew I was in for some trouble. They can’t actually make snow when it’s warm, and it was 45 – 55 degrees and had been raining the week before. The mountain actually closed, the first time they’ve ever done that, because they just couldn’t keep even one trail covered enough to make it worth anyone’s while.

I felt for the poor people whose livelihood depends on the ski season, though it wasn’t enough to make me sit there – the only customer in the bar – for “Live Band Night.” When I saw I was expected to carry the responsibilities of an entire audience alone, I turned right around and walked out. I did my part for the Canadian economy all week long, but damned if I was gonna sit there to be serenaded.

Despite my fears that traveling Christmas weekend would be nightmarish, I made it through the airport and home relatively easily, and just in time to be blindsided by my current ladyfriend, Amy. Apparently sometime between when I left and when I got home she decided we needed to clarify our relationship. As in all conversations with upset women, when they say we need to talk, of course they mean “you need to say the one thing that will make me feel better, but you damn well better not accidentally say any of the hundreds of things that will upset me.” I fumbled around with mild assistance from her until I finally sussed out what was bothering her. She was looking for some reassurance that things were proceeding well between us, and I had failed to provide any.

Though I waffled a bit during our initial conversation, I think I successfully provided some of what she was looking for when we had dinner a day later. Actually, I was very surprised by the whole thing because to be frank – and I told her this – I really didn’t think she liked me all that much. I had the distinct impression that she was of the mind that “this is fine for now, whatever it is” but I had no inkling that she was thinking we had long-term potential. We are comfortable and enjoy each other’s company, but she and I certainly aren’t experiencing a whirlwind romance. So I was caught off-guard by her sudden concern about the state of our relationship and whether it was growing.

Taking new relationships too fast has ruined several promising ones in my past, yet while I’m trying to slow things down, I find myself dating women who feel very strongly that they need to speed things up. Not that Amy is that way, this weekend not withstanding she's pretty laid back. I’m talking more generally about single woman age 35-40 - they are often in a hell of a hurry. So while I’m willing to just let it be what it is I don’t expect her to be equally sanguine, and the result is the odd and uncomfortable turn we appeared to have taken.

But we had a very nice dinner and were talking openly and easily with one another. At one point, when we were both getting a little frustrated, she said “I know I’m expecting you to know exactly how you feel about me when I don’t even know how I feel about you.” Once she said that, the tension deflated nicely, and there was room for both of us to just be ok with how things were.

We’ll see what 2007 brings. I’ve a number of predictions for 2007, both personal and political, which I’ll write up sometime and post. You won’t see any 2006 wrap-up though, everyone else is doing that, you don’t need mine.

Have a healthy and happy new year everyone!

Disturbed by this on so many levels...

2006-12-28T21:08:00.000-05:00

And yet, I kinda like it too.

If you close your eyes and just listen, it's a pretty decent rendition. But watching it... it's just wrong.

Do you like Pizza? And Beer?

2006-12-27T16:56:00.000-05:00

Gerald Ford doesn't get a lot of historical credit. Compared to recent Presidential giants who for good or ill had a tremendous impact on the country and the world, it's easy to consider Ford, who was elected to neither the Presidency nor the Vice Presidency, as not much of a President. His pardoning of Nixon a month after Nixon's resignation is believed to have been the primary cause of Ford's loss to Jimmy Carter in 1976, and the "Ford to City: Drop Dead" Daily News cover, his pratfalls, his early patronage of the two great evils, his choice of Bob Dole as his running mate, and the official declaration of our loss in the Vietnam war on his watch all combine to leave a person with a less than satisfying portrait of the national leader he became.

Even your trusty Chief of Staff, in one of his very first political opinions as a young Deputy Chief, said plainly and with great confidence as the 1976 elections approached that people should vote for Jimmy Carter because a new President was always better than the same old one. (Ever the optimist was I... until 2000, when that theory was roundly disproved.)

Yet none the less nowadays I think fondly of the man, who with unassuming ways, lack of pretension, and collegial down home country goodness was the ideal breath of fresh air in the wake of the shadowy, sultry Machiavellian strategies of his predecessor. Ford's honest affability helped to forestall the great national temper-tantrum that was brewing, diffusing the rhetoric, diffusing the anger, allowing for a broad American exhale. No one likes the taste of Pepto Bismol but it sure soothes an upset stomach, and Ford with his calm, confident assumption of national command I believe was just the medicine a volatile and upset nation needed.

And regardless of his merits, I would remind you of the two attempted assassinations in less than 3 weeks in September of 1975. I say that if you're President enough that people are trying to shoot you for it, you're President enough for me.

Rambling thoughts while I wait for my plane…

2006-12-17T12:32:00.000-05:00

The first few minutes I’ve had in quite some time, to sit, relax, and reflect on the past few weeks. Somehow or another December turned into a whirlwind of activity, and now as I wait for my flight to board I'm taking advantage of one of the first few moments I’ve had to write without having anything more important to do. Or rather, there’s a great deal I could be doing if I had internet access, but in fact as I write this I’m offline. It’s a terrible thing being offline.

For years I would turn on the tv or the radio first thing when I wake up, and I would do many things with the constant hum of the mainstream media droning in the background. Is it some primitive desire to feel a part of the larger community manifesting; that while I live in a city of eight million I turn the tv on so I don’t feel alone?

I’ve never liked feeling isolated, from the news in particular. When explaining these sentiments to my friend Craig one day, he summed up the feeling as not wanting to miss anything. “You have the tv on in case there’s an emergency?” he once asked me. Not necessarily an emergency, but certainly breaking news -- I subscribe to several different news alert services, and get flashes via email and cell phone text messages, and I check newsfeeds every time I pass by a computer screen, all to ensure I'm current.

Sitting here offline makes me a little crazy… thankfully I still have my blackberry going. But what the hell is with the lack of free wireless internet access? I’ve had certain opinions forming over the past few years, wildly influenced by the extraordinary amount of time I’ve spent browsing the internet during the same time period, and my thoughts on our civilization and what will be most important to us in the immediate future fall into one of two essential categories: our access to information, and the editorial control over the information we access. Whether it’s issues of privacy, digital rights management, copyright and intellectual property concerns, net-neutrality, AT&T’s re-consolidation and cooperation with the NSA, or even something simple as free wireless internet access, I’m hypersensitive to the presumptions made by both commercial enterprises and consumers regarding our place in society.

Specifically, I am highly conscious of the amount of time we spend each day being marketed to, sold to, and outright lied to in the pursuit of our income. I’m very aware of the commercialization of our society, and how the pursuit of sponsorship dollars has impacted our daily lives. What began with stadium naming rights and other sports-related patronage has insidiously metastasized into all areas of our daily lives, and I worry about what that does to us. Or specifically, I worry that I know just what that does - that we are being conditioned to be zombie-consumers, conditioned to be wage slaves selling our soul to the company store.

So when an airport, which could easily provide free wireless access for its customers (and even limit it to only its customers through the use of boarding pass number-based logins, for instance) instead chooses to charge $9.95 a day, that frustrates the crap out of me. In my mind, it’s the equivalent of a restaurant charging for a glass of water. There are some things which I believe should be understood amongst civilized peoples, some things which I believe come as part of the “being a human” package here in the industrialized west: every human is entitled to clean drinking water free of charge, and in the 21^st century, we should have free internet access already.

Now, I’m not saying we're all entitled to ubiquitous, powerful broadband; it doesn’t have to be premium service, and if you want to make a buck, then there’s where you make it -- in the upgrade from the basic free service to the better, stronger, faster pay service. No, what I'm taking issue with is the insistence on nickel-and-diming us to death, on earning a penny on every exchange, on treating us as perma-customers instead of fellow citizens wherever possible, that’s what makes me nuts. There are some things that should be done because everyone benefits when they are done, and not every interaction should be a seen as a profit-making opportunity.

But back to my travel… as much as I’d like to be able to bash the TSA and go on a rant about privacy and the loss of our rights and freedoms, this is my second flight this month and so far they’ve been nothing but professional and kind to me despite my being less than charming to them. All the horror stories I’ve read about recently on the ‘Net have prepared me for rough treatment, but I’ve seen nothing of the kind. In fact, I wouldn’t mind if they’d stick the kid who’s screaming his head off right now into one of those gray bins and x-ray the crap out of him until he quiets the fuck down, but even screaming children don’t appear to rile them up, which I just can’t understand… But anyway, despite dealing with my last minute change of plans as to which bags are being checked, the TSA has been professional and courteous and most importantly, efficient. I can’t complain, which of course gives me something to complain about, because I hate not being able to complain.

Just goes to show you, we can adapt to anything. I often reflect on what life might have been like for our grandparents who lived in a time when people could walk right into buildings without showing id, when they could stroll right onto airplanes (while smoking, no less) without having to shuffle through a metal detector with belt in one hand, holding their pants up with the other, their shoes being x-rayed separately for their protection...

I love living in the 21^st century, and I’m in awe of modern-day miracles like laser eye surgery, but at what cost? I wax reflective on simpler times...

“Mister, you can conquer the air… but the clouds will smell like gasoline, and the birds will lose their wonder…” – Lawrence and Lee, Inherit the Wind

Eh, who am I kidding? Simpler times, yet I can’t go two hours without checking my email.

Where have I been?

2006-12-16T21:57:00.000-05:00

It feels like I've been running around non-stop since Thanksgiving, and looking back at the calendar, that's actually closer to truth than an exaggeration. Two different volleyball teams, travel for work, training, friends visiting from San Fran, company holiday party... if you're wondering why I haven't posted, that's the story. Life being lived. Also, there's some Dan-news as well...

For several weeks now I've been seeing a lovely lady named Amy, whom I met off e-harmony.com. We both started somewhat hesitantly, but over time we've grown more comfortable with one another, and are starting to find a nice balance between how busy we each are and making time for... you know... making time.

Two Saturdays ago we had planned on spending a few hours together, when she sheepishly suggested a way to spend the entire day. She knew of a quaint little town up north of the city, where there was this Buddhist temple and it was a pretty drive, and maybe we should do that? It was our first big datey-date, and she very charmingly suggested it with that "it's totally ok if you don't want any part of it, but in case you might..." kinda thing going. I said "Sure, as long as we're not going antiquing or anything." That was of course met with complete silence. "We are, aren't we?" I asked. "Um... yes?" she responded.

Armed with my satellite radio and caffeinated beverages, we set off around noon on the hour long drive up into the Catskills. A fun and pleasant drive with nice conversation, as we began to loosen up around each other. Mostly Amy talked and I listened, which totally works for me. I like it when I'm not required to hold up any part of the conversation, for while I can be a chatty fellow, it's nice to not have to be so. I've a history of dating women who can hold up both ends of a conversation on their own, and while none of those relationships have worked out, I'm sure it's not because of that quality...

As we drove around, working our way through Dutchess county, we came across a little glass-blowing shop and I picked up a nice piece and bought Amy a cute little flowery girlie thing that girls like and men are baffled by. And eventually we found our way to the Buddhist temple.

Amy made a good call about this place, it was terrific. A very large complex with a library, dormitories, bridges and benches and quiet walks and serenity and all the good bits one likes on a trip out of the city. We worked our way about the place, and marveled at the architecture and the giant Buddhas (Amy pointed out there was a particular resemblance between Buddha and myself, a sentiment I decided was a compliment) and we wandered aimlessly awash in religiosity in the midst of Christmastime, yet a religiosity that wasn't Christmasy.

We followed up the temple visit with a nice walk through the town of Cold Spring, and yes, I went antiquing. It was more fun than I expected it would be, I suspect because there was such an unfathomable mass of other people's crap to look through that it transcended boring and became solidly fascinating. And exploring the anonymous history of others brought up some interesting things about each other to talk about as well, so I can't help but think it was a pretty good date-thing to do.

We had a very nice dinner in Cold Spring, then headed back to New York. A lovely day, a lovely date.

After one brief day at work that following Monday, I went into two days of training, and then immediately flew to Los Angeles for some meetings with our west coast folks. This past week has been all about volleyball, and a class I'm taking, and Friday night was our company Holiday party which I always really enjoy. Saturday I spent the day with my family celebrating Hanukah, and Sunday I head to Ontario for a week of skiing...

Shaka, when the walls fell...

2006-12-15T21:58:00.000-05:00

Alas, though it was a stellar season, it was not *our* season and my volleyball team lost in the semi-finals. We had a terrific record, and played exceptionally well, and I'm proud of us - but we're not going to be the divisional champions...

Important Volleyball-related news

2006-12-12T22:09:00.000-05:00

Thousands and thousands of emails came in today to request I provide regular updates on the volleyball playoffs. Thousands. So I'll tell you, but only because the hue and cry was so overwhelming.

We totally won. You know why? Cause we're awesome. First game was 15 - 2 us, the second game was like 15-9 us. Next is the semi finals on Thursday...

Oh, what is that? How many points did Dan serve for in game one? Ya, that would be 15. Yes, 15 points, which is sometimes referred to as "all of them."

This is an artist's representation of my serve tonight. It's a metaphor.

By the way...

2006-12-11T23:03:00.000-05:00

Volleyball playoffs this week, super busy with work... posts coming, but not tonight. Can I just say though, for the record and in all seriousness, there are few artists/performers whom I have higher respect for than Julie Andrews.

I mean, sure, William Shatner is as far as I'm concerned a national treasure and can do no wrong. Do you hear me? NO WRONG. But what I like about him is how he is so brilliant at being a parody of himself.

With Julie Andrews, it's just a pure, honest magical ability to evoke. I'm sitting here watching Mary Poppins, and she just couldn't be more brilliant. And her Guenevere in Camelot, her Eliza in My Fair Lady... Victor Victoria? Come on, Victor Victoria for chrissakes?

There are few living performers I have as much reverence and respect for than Julie Andrews. As Chris Rock said so brilliantly a few years back, there are celebrities, and there are stars. Julie Andrews is the latter; famous for being extraordinarily good at what she does, and not merely for being famous.

She's due to receive a lifetime achievement award next year from the Screen Actors Guild. I don't think there could possibly be enough accolades for the woman who sang the soundtrack of our childhoods for three generations.

I suspect she must be as sick of being called classy as Shatner is of being called the greatest actor of all time. The only thing I can think of that's better than either Julie Andrews or William Shatner would be a movie or show featuring both of them.

Dan-approved powerpoint humor:

2006-12-10T11:23:00.000-05:00

Back to Cali... Cali...

2006-12-10T11:17:00.000-05:00

Wow, where the hell has Dan been?

Last week was crazy busy for me, and this one looks like it will be as well. Both work, and also after-work evening activities are keeping me from writing all about work and my after-work evening activities...

But updates are a-coming!

D

How can you not want this guy to be your President?

2006-12-01T08:25:00.000-05:00

Gore Planning To Release Uncensored An Inconvenient Truth DVD:

"Global Warming Gone Wild" and "hot glacier on glacier action..."

Huffpost has it -

Bittersweet Anniversary

2006-11-29T08:50:00.000-05:00

Today would have been my beastie's 13th birthday.

It's been just over four months since he went to the bridge, and though I miss him, life has of course continued. Generally the time I most feel the loss is just when I come home - for so many years any return to the apartment was greeted with his rare expressions of excitement, and those first few minutes of bonding after a long day were my favorite time with him.

Walking around the neighborhood bumping into the dog owners with whom I once shared such camaraderie is sometimes jarring as well; the initial awkward conversation as they mention they haven't seen me and Zeke in a while and I explain why... Seeing dog owners meet and greet one another, seeing a new dog on the block - it's a club I was a member of for so many years, yet no longer.

Many people wonder if I'll get another dog, and of course I will - though not for some time to come. I can't imagine life without a dog in the long term, but for the immediate future circumstances conspire against pet-ownership. Any pet ownership, including the cat my parents tried to pawn off on me last month. "Why do you want to give him to me?" I asked. "Because he pukes on everything" my dad replied. Not much of a cat salesman, but Pops gets points for honesty.

Normally for his birthday I would get Zeke a special treat like eggplant pizza, a whopper, or I'd cook him some steak. Of course he had no idea why November 29th was a special day, but then in his mind I've no doubt that he assumed steak or a whopper or his favorite pizza was no less than his due.

Here he is playing with a very wet Hershey, his best pal for many years.

Happy birthday buddy.

Loosening the belt...

2006-11-26T21:43:00.000-05:00

As I sit here gorging for the third day in a row on leftover stuffing (I love food that's named after what it is or does, like oranges and stuffing) I am happy to confirm that I am very much pro-Thanksgiving. Such a terrific holiday this year, with everything that could have gone wrong going right instead, and I got to spend two solid days with family and friends.

Each meal was wonderful, with everything tasting just as it should. And both my Thanksgiving dinners featured one of my all-time favorite dishes, butternut squash soup. Hot damn that is some good soup... Thursday I spent time up in Massachusetts with my best friend and his family and friends, which I don't get to do often enough, and Friday was a second Thanksgiving in New Jersey with family, our yearly event. No traffic to speak of marred the travel, and the company and conversation were wonderful all-around.

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, both because it's a secular holiday that most Americans can get behind and also because it's a holiday based on and steeped in the act of hospitality. As some of you may remember from an earlier post, hospitality is very important to me and something I take very seriously. One of our most ancient rituals, the act of both giving and receiving food and shelter hearkens back to our most ancient and earliest civilizing practices. I love that we have a national tradition that originates with, and continues to be practiced as an expression of the act of welcoming others to your home and hearth.

Sure, I doubt the first Thanksgiving was anything like the sanitized version that is currently celebrated, but then as we all well know, faith doesn't require any historical accuracy. Those same pinko-commie liberals who are trying to ruin Christmas (an act of holiday sabotage I heartily approve of) would also have you believe that recognizing the reality of Pilgrim-Indian relations must by necessity mean feeling guilty each Thanksgiving, and I won't have any part of it. Thanksgiving is more than an origin myth, it now serves as a hearty reminder of what is truly important in life; a reminder we desperately need just before we launch into the greatest example of what's not important - the Christmas season.

The radio stations and stores let us know beyond all shadow of a doubt that the final barrier has been crossed, the seventh seal has been broken, and it's now the Christmas homestretch. The soundtrack of the season plays like George Bailey's ipod locked on permanent shuffle, so let the government-sanctioned marginalization of non-Christians begin!

We're all in this together.... (by "this" I mean getting girls...)

2006-11-22T08:43:00.000-05:00

Looking ahead to 2008 is an interesting exercise at this early stage, because the field is still so littered with candidates who haven't yet realized they have already failed.

I'm sure I will be stunned in 18 months as I read about how much money a pre-ordained loser like John Kerry has spent to discover that he isn't nearly as popular in 2008 as he was in 2004, and that he wasn't really all that popular then either. Some obvious choices are looking to jump out ahead and get some early inertia, while others are playing it cool, playing their cards close to the vest.

We're already hearing a lot about Barack Obama, and I admit I don't take him particularly seriously just yet. In general I don't take candidates who come from a Congressional background all that seriously, as they lack executive experience while at the same time they possess a long voting record which can be willfully misinterpreted to an opponent's advantage. Governors may not make better Presidents, but the certainly make better candidates, and there are plenty of hale and hearty governors out there calculating their odds who may yet throw their hat in.

But every now and again something shows up in the news about a candidate that seems to be an authentic window into who they are, and those moments can make or break a candidacy. If they are positive moments, perhaps shedding some healthy, helpful light on the character of a relatively unknown person, they can do more to promote a Presidential bid than a bucket full of prime-time ad buys .

Now, this is not one of those glorious moments, but it is something which resonates with me and I'm suddenly much more of an Obama fan than I had been.

Obama '08, Let a playa play!

Anyone else bothered by this (Part 3)

2006-11-19T18:14:00.000-05:00

Loyal readers, your Chief is not normally one to credit minority blathering about disenfranchisement, marginalization, and discrimination, yet I can't help but point out something which showed up in the news last week.

For your consideration I present two photos. Can you tell which one is the fake AP photo and caption, and which is the real?

You're right, obviously it's the Denny Hastert photo which is fake, because no one comments on what male Congressmen are wearing save for fashion magazines. Which of course means the Nancy Pelosi photo and caption are genuine, and apparently it's just fine to comment on what incoming Speaker Pelosi is wearing. As much as I'd hate to encourage them, this sort of patronization does indeed support the feminist contention that men suck and what not.

On one hand you have giant blob of mendacity Denny Hastert, or bloated sack of hypocrisy Bill Frist, or even horny fat Bill Clinton, and many other questionable human beings whom no one likes and no one finds attractive, and who are not judged on their repulsive appearances because they're men. And on the other hand you have the single most powerful woman in the history of America, who will be third in line for the Presidency, and who despite her many accomplishments still can't get a mention without someone noting what she's wearing to Capitol Hill like showing up to govern is no more significant than walking the red carpet on Oscar night.

I'm proud of the Dems, and of Nancy Pelosi, and even mentioning her outfit in a way that implies that what she's wearing has some bearing on her role as Congresswoman undermines her authority and does a disservice to her, the U.S. government, and the people who elected her and her party. It's nothing but an intentional belittlement of the incoming Speaker of the House, or even worse - the culturally ingrained belittlement of women everywhere.

Now, I'm all for belittling people, but I like to do it based on merit and not gender.

Anyone else bothered by this (Part 2)

2006-11-19T17:00:00.000-05:00

That's just great, because what we really, really need more of is branding on a planetary scale. The Planet Earth, brought to you by Yum Franchises, Inc.

KFC today became the world’s first
brand visible from outer space.